Emergingminister.com

So...did you miss me?

2009-09-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

If there was anyone reading this blog, they have more than likely evaporated into the unknown recesses of cyberspace. It's been nearly 8 months since my last post - weeks after my "cardiac event." And I am just now really understanding what has happened and how it is changing my life.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her magnificent work on grieving listed the seven stages of grief and loss. Here, in a nutshell is the "7 stages and how I've lived through them" over the past months.

Stage 1 - SHOCK and DENIAL:
Driving yourself to the ER is a sure sign that you are in denial. Even if the Regional Medical Center is less than 2 blocks away from your office. Sitting upright on a gurney in the ER Triage as the heart attack hits its crescendo only saying "ow...ow...something's happening." is denial. Pretending that you can get back to work 2 and a half weeks after said event and go to class and live life as normal is denial.

Stage 2 - PAIN and GRIEF:
You go from complete polar opposites - having NOT paid attention to any signs that your body was BLARING at you for months (if not years) to being aware of every tiny little beat of your heart. Deep remorse sets in as you realize that the dreams of being a marathon runner are now 86'd permanantly - heck who was I kidding in the first place? LOST has less twists and turns as you begin to get a grip on what just happened. You know that you're supposed to be changing your life and like a newly saved individual in your first of many "come to Jesus" moments the contents of your tiny shelf and frig become the homeless' feast du jour. Candies - gone. Crisps...gone. Eggs and red meat - gone. And so on and so on until your frig and pantry is worthy of Richard Simmons dropping in and doing a full on inspection!

Stage 3 - ANGER and BARGAINING:
The first trip to the grocery store on your own, after those incredibly wonderful meals from the people at your church are over is a sure sign that something's brewing. Of course, what's the first thing that catches your eyes? All the stuff that you have just sworn off religiously. Suddenly the bakery calls out with its earthy and sultry wonderfulness. There is this small ball of yuck growing in you as the anger beast beats down denial long enough for you to realize you're not in Kansas anymore. And it keeps on growing from there. Anger can be therapeutic - ask me how many glasses and plates have "accidently" broken of late? Go on-ask! Sigmund Freud surely would have a hey day with that! So after realizing that you're not able at the moment to completely restock the kitchen with the latest and greatest from Crate and Barrel the bargaining peeks in and in it's glory recreates your favorite "Deal or No Deal" episode. Do you take a bite of the forbidden fruit or hang onto what is in the suitcase which could be a million bucks? Hmmm. What will you do?

Stage 4- DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONLINESS:

Gloom, dispair and agony on me;
Deep dark depression, excessive misery.
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all-
Gloom, dispair and agony on me.

That...I think sums it all up nicely.

Stage 5 - THE UPWARD TURN:

Poor Shelley Winters didn't have an upward turn on the Posseidon, but you do! You see a tiny bit of sunshine in your day as the clothes start to fit loser and you're actually able to make it through a cardiac rehab class without feeling like your chest is going to explode. Could this be the morning after?

Stage 6 - RECONSTRUCTION and WORKING THROUGH:

Whining is now a daily habit. You whine at how many pills you take. Whine at how much you "can't" eat, you whine about...oh wait - isn't that ANGER lurking around? Bad Anger - Bad, Bad, Bad! NO SOUP FOR YOU! Life ain't the bowl of chocolate moose track ice cream with crackle hard topping that you hoped it would be post event. Nope - it's worse! YIPPEE!! All your cracks are showing - and others are seeing them as well. Of course, let's just admit they saw them all the time now they are taking you up on the request to hold you accountable and gosh darn it - they love you! They really love you! Life begins to be a game of chutes and ladders as you start to think you've figured something out and quickly realize that you belong in the remedial class for heart patients. It seems like you're living your own groundhog day and can't seem to get back to your happy place. Oh wait - it's now DENIAL showing up again!!! Good grief! Sniff...Sniff...Sniff - you blubber for your old life, for your fun life, for your "it's got to be better than this" life. And when you've had enough of the pity party you climb off the throne and start to figure out just what everyone has been telling you for years. And you ask the all important question: "if they are still telling you the same thing post 'event' does that mean you still have yet to figure it out?" (Short answer - Yes.)

Stage 7 - ACCEPTANCE and HOPE:

So life has given you a second chance. Really, the Creator has let you ride the merrie-go-round of life one more ride. Maybe even more! Your ears are finally starting to listen to what your heart has been telling you all along - one beat at a time. Leave juggling balls to the pros - life has an absolute number of balls that one can have in the air at all times. Spend time smelling the roses - heck plant a few and learn how to take care of them. Remember the 12 steps, the golden rule, all the stuff you learned in Kindergarten. Eventually you'll get the hang of things as long as you remember you're not the one in the driver's seat. Oh yes and the most important tip of all - breathe.

What the huh????

2009-01-22T12:31:00.000-08:00

The holiday season went well. It was incredibly busy but a very good. Here's a brief recap-

Our drama "A Gift for Clara" was wonderfully received. The children did a wonderful job at proclaiming God's love and desire to fill the empty spaces of our hearts and lives. I learned a lot from the experience - mainly that there is much to know about the background details in a church that is technically saavy. The churches that I have been working at have grown in their technical sophistication. From the South Pasadena Episcopal Church which we had nothing technical at all during my internship there - I think the Rector was blessed with an over the ear mic my last few months there - but no video/recording or lighting etc. to speak of; to the church in Oregon which had some lighting and technical (sound) stuff but was not set up to do productions to my current Church. Here our tech booth upstairs is awash in serious sound and lighting boards, video cameras, DVD and CD recording and duplicating objects and at least two different montitors projecting or tracking what is on the two jumbo screens in the Sanctuary. It's amazing. I wish I had a picture at the moment of the tech board but alas I don't. The response from the community and kids was positive and we are looking at ways to incorporate more drama in the future as an outreach ministry to the community. But I have to say again our parents' commitment to the ministry and to the project was phenomenal. From our volunteer director/producer/choreographer couple to the people who pitched in to help with costumes, wrangling, etc. There was much that I didn't know that needed to be involved and now have a good idea of a pre-production list/accounting that will get us off on the right foot next time.

Moving directly into the Christmas Season from Clara came our Family Christmas Eve Service which was well received. I had wanted to do several stations and backed away from that after talking with some people who thought it was a bit "scary" to do - and later was told by my SP that if I have been given the authority to construct a service to go ahead and move in the direction that I am envisioning. Quelle Freedom! We had the entire service done primarily with children and youth - from our worship leaders, readers, object lesson presenter (a college guy who work/interns with our youth on breaks) to a special presentation of the christmas story by Linus Van Pelt of Peanuts fame. I shared a small message aimed at both parents and children and we concluded with a "christmas story in a bag" station which had children come forward and put together objects into a bag which they in turn could tell the christmas story to another person the next day. Next year - watch out we may be into something very different....

School ended the day before Clara and I was plagued by massive problems with my computer. I had pulled up the saved and completed paper only to need the gift of interpretation of tongues if I wanted to translate. Gobble, pure gobble. Nothing could convert it back to any version of English so I had to wind up rewriting and submitting it late knocking my A paper down to a horrid C. And bringing my overall grade down to a C as well. And to think that I had a B+ average going into the final and paper. Oh well...

Then - the drama began. My mom came into town the day before the performance and promptly began to suffer back pain and I had to eventually admit her into the ER and hospital for pain management. The goal was to have my sister fly down, care for mom (she's an RN) and then together fly back to Portland but within a day or two after discharge we realized that she was not going to be able to fly and my BiL drove down to escort the two back home between snow storms. She's doing better now, still struggling with some pain but that apparantly will take time to work its way out.

With all that drama out of my world I attempted to relax and rest prior to starting school again. I picked up my exercise - moving towards getting healthy enough to run a 10K in the summer and managed to drop some weight during the holidays - not much but some. One of my resolutions or goals for the year had to do with finding out what it was going to take to really connect me back with loosing weight. I had done it in the past, and successfully I might add. Yet gained 5/8 of the weight back when I ceased exercising and lost sight of portions. I was working out with a trainer/PT and feeling better than I had - though really tired and exhausted all the time.

Then after a good work out the day before, I woke up two weeks ago with a pain across my back -traps, lats, obliques. Just what my PT told me to expect. But the darn pain didn't seem to go away, it just seemed to increase over the day to the point I was apologizing to a fellow CM leader who came to visit about my having to keep stretching during the conversation. After cutting the meeting short, I decided to go home and sleep it off thinking my body was just recouping from the witner and new schedule it was on. But the dull ache in my teeth just didn't seem right and I drove the 1/2 block from work to the ER thinking it was just strained muscles.

Ha!

The pain in my jaw got worse from the car to the ER, and then I began to get short of breath. I used the two magic words in triage "chest pain" and was immediately brought in and strapped up to monitors, IV's etc. Still hurt but was ok for about an hour when I really began to hurt...

You know that you're in trouble city when the nurses eyes get big and all of a sudden cardiologists and radiologists are swarming your bed. And then you start hearing stats that match your description and the word "ICU" being used in the same sentence. So obviously - I'm not going anywhere and began to call and cancel my speaking engagement for the next day, a couple of meetings and letting work know I'm not going to be in the next day and send some Elder's over please to pray.

What the huh?!!!???!! I suffered a heart attack. And had angioplasty the next day to clear a blocked artery.

I'm way too young to be doing this S*#T! Way too young to be watching a cardiology team put pieces of metal into my heart to prop up an artery. And while I am incredibly thankful for technology, and medication and knowledge and especially incredible HEALTH INSURANCE (thanks EPC and my church) it's a major slap in the face.

So the good news. God answered my prayer. You remember the one that I mentioned about what it was going to take to get me focused to loose the weight and make better life choices? Found it. Not necessarily what I would have liked but I do appreciate the irony in the entire experience. Already 10 pounds are off the body in two weeks and I am slowly moving back into the world - with a new perspective on what a reasonable schedule DOESN'T look like. I've been spending the past week organzing, and purging all over the house - as though it is an emotional response to the need to reorder my life. And spending lots of time exploring how to rebuild a new rhthym in my spiritual life because obviously what I had was broken.

So here is the thing - I look at many people in ministry and we have many of the same qualities - especially in Children's and Youth Ministry:

*We are often great nurturers and caretakers - sometimes to a fault;
*We like a good challenge and excel at seeing things accomplished;
*We take a lot of work onto our plate setting an example for those who work with us;
*We may be a "mellow" type A but we are type A's at heart;
*We expect a lot from ourselves;
*We balance too many balls in the air;
*We care for everyone else and put our own health and wellness at the bottom of the list;
*We may not have the funds to regularly see medical professionals, or care for our physical health;
*We will schedule out time for exercise, rest, family time but then let the cares of people and ministry impede;
*Many of us are overweight;
*We are more Martha's than Mary's

Craig Jutila in an article this past year addressed his departure from Saddleback Children's Ministry to focus on his health and wellness and that of his family. In that article he shared how he thrived on ministry and used that sense of success and achievement to feed his soul and emotional needs. Sometimes to the extent that his family was shut out of portions of his life. After a considerable time of refelction Craig did an amazing thing and left Saddleback, choosing to focus on recovery. Now back in ministry in a new project (successfully, I might add)he is attempting to take back parts of his life that the "ministry monster" devoured.

How many of us fall in this trap? Whether you are in ministry or not we daily are forced to make decisions for our family. Do you put the kids in yet one more sports or after school activity? Take the promotion knowing that it means even more time away from the family, travel and late nights? Push ourselves to achieve that A even if it means we suffer sleep deprivation while balancing work. We lose sight of what it means to be the one who sits at the feet of Jesus. Soaking in his presence. Basking in the love of the Spirit.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it a result of our brokenness? Sin? Unrealistic expectations?

I return to work next Tuesday and church on Sunday. There will be 300 pairs of eyes watching every move that I make, every morsel that I put into my mouth. I know by virtue of my position that I will be in the fishbowl during my rehab and recovery. And you know what? I welcome the attention as difficult as it will be. It gives me an opportunity to model and live out an attempt to conform my life, my passions, my appetites more close to God's desire that we be health and prosper as our soul prospers. And in the end, I hope that it will be a sense of encouragement to others that they too, can find balance and wholeness in the midst of the cacaphony which attempts to drag us from our true focus and calling.

Oh my stars....

2008-11-29T17:58:00.000-08:00

So I have decided to take the plunge and sign up for a month on eHarmony. Now my friends have had great results - one just was married recently. Another swears that many of her friends and family have been matched successfully. Me? I'm not sure what I have just committed to. In fact, I had buyer's remorse the minute that I hit that little "YES" button to confirm the credit card. So I have at least a month to check this out and see if my aversions to this are unfounded.

I don't know what to think. I don't know. I just don't know. So, if you would like to leave a word of encouragement for me please do. I have not been in the dating world seriously in over 6 years and I feel like I'm back in remedial dating 101 classes.

Instead of Christmas as usual....

2008-11-19T15:57:00.000-08:00

Consider doing something different. An alternative to the same old/same old.

Consider how your contribution of time, talent and treasure in ways other than presents can impact more lives than the receiver of a gift that will wear out, break down and eventually be tossed aside.

It's worth the consideration.

Montecito Fire

2008-11-14T14:31:00.001-08:00

Please keep praying for the Santa Barbara/Montecito area as they are battling the many fires burrning. A member of my ministry team just stopped by and updated me from her son that several Westmont Faculty members have lost their homes, two dorms have burnt down and one or two class buildings as well. There have been numerous fire companies here in the East Bay that have been dispatched down to the area to assist.

A friend (Thanks Britta) let me know early this morning that Mt. Calvary Retreat House and Monastery had burnt down. For many in the Los Angeles area, this place was a spiritual sanctuary. Built in the 20's and 30's, Mt. Calvary was purchased by the Order of the Holy Cross after its designers/owners suffered great losses in the depression. It contained a beautiful garden tended to by Brother William, two cottages where Brother Roy did calligraphy and Brother Joe created gorgeous iconography. A stone labyrinth graced all outdoors as well as vistas that made you feel like you were far removed from the urban landscape of LA.

For me Mt. Calvary held a very special place - it was one of the places where my spiritual life was resurrected after a long, dark dry spell. Two retreats in particular that I participated in taught me about servanthood and the need in my life for humility. I discovered and embraced spiritual disciplines of contemplative prayer, a rule of life and simplicity which are still a regular part of my spiritual life. In fact they are almost like oxygen to my spirit as I so often tire of the evangelical, purpose driven fodder that is passed off as spirituality in much of the church world. It was the place where I went after my dad died as I waited to head down to his funeral. The place where key decisions related to receiving my call took place. This past April, I took a larger step and became an Assoicate at Mt. Calvary - committing to support its work/ministry/life any way that I am able.

It is interesting to me how/where our sacred spaces are in the world. This was one of mine. I grieve that many will need to wait until it is rebuilt to encounter what many of us have experienced. I'm thankful for the role it's played in my world. And continue to pray for it daily as I look at the pictures of my last trip there in April daily in my office.

The meals that tie us together...

2008-11-11T17:03:00.000-08:00

My cousin has a wonderful blog "An Alameda Garden" (www.alamedagarden.blogspot.com) that chronicles her garden journey/projects as well as highlights the role that food and gardens plays in the life of a community. She recently posted this video on her site. I have been shopping at farmer's markets or direct from farm markets for the past two years...and recently had sticker shock when I purchased vegetables etc. from a chain store. With the economy in the situation that is currently is in, wouldn't it be something to once again move towards a more local, sustainable food source?

This Lawn is Your Lawn from roger doiron on Vimeo.

First Mid Term grades

2008-11-07T16:59:00.003-08:00

Crud. I only scored a B+ on the exam. Totally blew it on the multiple choice as usual.

No Subject. Just Life. Really.

2008-10-23T15:26:00.000-07:00

I guess the title of this entry says it all. Nothing really falls into a catgory. I'm just sharing about my life. Really. That's all. Work is going well, I'm so glad to have a SP on board. Such a refreshing change. It's been interesting for me that with this new change there has been this bit of cautiousness that has risen up within me. I knew that it was related to my field ed experience. It took a bit of time to work through some of the apprehension and realize that I am not in the same environment, the clergy person that I am working with now has a very different style of leadership than my previous one. That I am respected here by leadership. But it was still this really bizarre experience when I was having that initial conversation with S and he brings out this file folder with the internship package info in it that I gave our EP. There was the part of me that literally wanted to dodge the subject all together. He was actually positive about the possibility of mentoring me. We've had some great conversations since his arrival and during his time as Interim. While I may be more fluid in my ministry praxis - we have a great meeting of the minds. And what I appreciate more than anything is his openness to consider (not necessarily agree) with new ways to look at something. He wants to engage with his staff and that is so refreshing on many levels.

The reality is that I just don't want to be burned again in this whole ordination process. It's not happening here but I am waiting for that "shoe to drop" feeling. Someone once said that it is normal to experience that type of expectation when you've had a significant loss in your life. So I just continue to do what I have learned to remind myself that life doesn't always play out the way you think it will - sometimes it's GOOD! The good news - the apprehension departed within a day. A record for me.

I feel as though I am once again in this deep growth place spiritually. I'm coming to terms with some residual crud related to my perfectionism again. I started seminary again the last week of September. Already it's week 4 and midterms are here. I have a lot of reading in my Gospels class, and it isn't easy always an easy read. We're tackling two books by N.T. Wright and the Introductory Text book by Achtemier, Green and Thompson, and an exegetical methods book by Michael Gorman. I'm finding I can't breeze through reading these days. I'm making notes in the margins and really trying to improve my comprehension which seems to very low than I care. The fact that it seems to take more concentration frustrates me and lo and behold kicks in that "I am willing to do whatever I need to go get that A." I know that the grade doesn't validate who I am as an individual. That comes from who I am in God. Yet I have come to the conclusion that grades do matter to me. They are more important to me than I realized. It is a sense of accomplishment when I can achieve an A. What is interesting here at the Menlo Park campus is that the pressure on grades isn't as much as it was in Pasadena. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that there are so many going on to PhD's and the extension campus doesn't have that option. It just seems that here there isn't that edge of competition and expectation that everyone brings their A game here. I had to laugh because the other night in Greek someone shared that for many here "C=M.Div" In my world a C=F=why bother? Needless to say that I am finding myself passing on outings with friends, trips to the City to stay home and study. Will it be worth it in the long run? You betcha. Just sucks occassionally.

S's installation is coming up in a week. It's much different in style and tone than one I previously was part of. That one was full of pomp and circumstance. It sometimes felt as those we were attending a coronation. This one is about 180 degrees different. Very reverential, simple, humble. No pomp. Some circumstances. Building Bridges is over - another incredible weekend. Even our childcare kids did more service projects this year than last. They carved out pumpkins and cut/arranged flowers creating centerpieces for the dinner tables at our Saturday night celebration. I posted a couple of pictures above - hopefully I can figure out how to center them - don't know what happened but oh well.

Today was one of those days where I really missed my long time friends. I miss not calling my newly married friends to hear about what is up. They're in nesting mode and I don't want to disturb them having been married 3 and 4 weeks ago respectively. Facebook has been terrific in connecting me back with friends from college, high school and LA - and I guess it just makes it rough when you wish you could just drive over, walk across the breeze way or down the block and see them. One friend in particular M, I'm missing more now after chatting with her for the first time in months. We're planning to connect when they fly out to Disneyland in December. I had the flight scheduled within 15 minutes of reading her email with the dates they were going to be there. And my vacation request in as well! Of course, it didn't help much that I watched the "Sex in the City" movie the other night with my roommate D. I was completely surprised at what a great job they did with it. And I missed the girl's nights we used to have in L.A. and at the Oregon Coast. I wouldn't trade SF and what I am doing for anything but wish there was a way I could have my cake and eat it too when it comes to location and close friends. And of course the theme of what you'll do when you love not just "in love" with someone made me seriously consider eHarmony - but where do you pencil in a relationship between work and seminary? Is there a way to have a healthy, loving relationship, satisfaction in work/minsitry and a successful seminary career? I guess I'll never know unless I attempt it. Stay tuned for more...

Ah...Fall

2008-09-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

After a string of hot days in the San Ramon Valley it has suddenly cooled down. Last night I looked out the back window where I am housesitting to see the traces of Mt. Diablo underneath rain. Walking outdoors later that evening there was that unmistakable drizzle that came down. It's amazing to me how quickly things can change-the weather being just one example.

We settled into the Fall term for Children's Ministries last week. It was one of those weeks that was just incredibly busy. Our Session and Presbytery approved the selection of the Pastoral Search committee and last week our congregation voted to approve the call of our new Sr. Pastor. What seemed to be a very long period of wariness is coming to a close. Our new SP S. will begin his term here I believe the first week of October. The kids rooms were completed with the little touches to be added weekly so by the end of October the rooms are all complete but it leaves a little excitement for the kids to see what is new for the first few weeks they are in their rooms. The teachers are enjoying the curriculum and for some being reminded how little preschoolers are and how rambunctious 3-5th graders can be at the beginning of anything new. Our teachers are still turning in their schedules and the master schedule is coming together with a few very noticable gaps still waiting to be filled but from what I know of this community they will be filled by the end of the month.

Other changes going on include those of my friends. Two very close friends of mine are both getting married on consecutive Saturdays. Two wonderful reasons to head down to LA and be at what was home for over 13 years. I love watching love bloom. One couple has been together for a long period of time; the other has come together relatively recently. Yet both are healthy couples, in healthy relationships which I know will become healthy families over time. I look forward to celebrating God's blessings in their lives as we bless their unions and futures. Someday, I tell myself I hope to find myself celebrating that kind of love.

My mom will soon be returning to Oregon after a three month stay. It's been good having her here and yet at times challenging. We're still negotiating the dynamics surrounding an adult child/parent relationship - my mother still struggles with understanding the relationship has changed. It makes for interesting conversations and many frustrations on my part. My goal this time has been to just let her be - and to focus on not allowing myself to get caught up in button pushing which for the most part I have done fairly well. Much better than other extended visits.

For me personally, I return to Fuller after 2 years of absence. With more insight than previously, I have opted to take two courses one being an audit (Greek refresher) which will give me the courseload of two courses but only credit for one. That way I can adjust minus the over-stressing I'm prone to carrying 8 units and a heavy load at work simultaneously. I have spent the past late Spring until now working ahead and lining up support staff to help lead the ministry so the weight of responsibility is not falling on me - which is the first sign of poor ministry management. I am blessed here at this church to have individuals willing to step up from the moment that I arrived. It has made all the difference and for a less stressful load.

Just like the arrival of Fall, it's amazing to see the changes happening in the world and lives around me. It's a time to remember that while change will always occur, there are constants that you can always hang onto - the most notably being the constant presence of God working amongst us.

Farewell my friend...

2008-07-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

Jane E. Rowan
Feb. 27, 1948 to July 26, 2008

The news came Friday night as I was out in the City on a "Girl's Night Out." Jane, who I had asked for prayer back in February, had taken another turn for the worse. This time, the email said - it looked as though she would not make it through the night.

In the morning, when it appeared she had made it through my desire to believe that being the strong willed, "prove you all wrong" type of a person she was, she would show us all wrong and bounce back from this bout as well.

At around 8 p.m. that night my phone rang.

I knew who would be on the other end of the phone. I knew what she'd be telling me.

And I didn't want to hear it.

Jane passed at 6:47 p.m. Saturday July 26th. She was a gifted artist, writer, jack of all trades. Her pilgrimage on this earth was ecclectic - full of experiences, places, people and things that were wonderful and delightful in unique ways. One of the most incredible experiences that I remember from her was her journey and discovery of her birth mom and family. In the winter of 2006 I met her birth mom and sisters at her adopted mom's memorial service in Shelton, WA. Listening to their stories of finding and being found were amazing.

I'm still reeling from this. Not in an over emotional way, more shell shocked I guess. Of all the people who would battle something like this, I really believed she'd be the one to fly the finger in its face and prove doctors, hospitals and care centers all wrong.

Here's to you Jane. Myself and the other Mags will miss you dearly in this world. May you find yourself wrapped in the light and love of the Eternal Creator now and always.

Will I EVER Graduate?

2008-07-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, I should be very happy that I am finally returning to seminary. After taking a much longer than I would have cared break, I am returning to Fuller's Menlo Park Campus. I met this morning with my advisor who sweetly broke the news to me that I have actually 8 units less than what I thought, and if I take only the desired amount of courses minus summer I will barely scoot out of Fuller before I "time" out at 10 years.

Can I tell you how frustrated I am? Yes, I know I have something that many seminarians don't have - a good, well respected ministry job that supports my return to seminary and provides me with an incredible learning experience at the same time. But 10 years? At the rate I'm going, my AARP card will come before my diploma in the mail!

Thus endeth the whining. On the way back to the house I did have to remember that there was a time gap in the mix so it isn't like I've been going to school for ten consecutive years. So in reality I will be taking about a year's extra time than the six years it takes to do the M.Div part time. Hey, I'm thankful there's a part time program! If there wasn't I'd never be able to return to school. I think the challenge for me is that I so want to just move foward with the desire for ordained ministry, and the knowledge that I do have a support base that is encouraging me to move towards this goal. The blessing of being in a secure employment (as much as anyone can say that in these challenging times) is that I won't have to take another loan out for school; and I will have some positive ministry experience to put down towards my CV when it comes time for my first call.

I guess in the long run I'm doing better than I see things on paper. Relationships, Experience and Education. All happening at the same time. Okay, I can live with that.

The Fall's schedule will be auditing Greek it's been way too long since I've had a nervous break out over parsing the Greek for proxeuxesthe and please don't email to correct the transliteration - that just goes to show you why my tukus needs to be in a seat beginning in October. Turns out you can audit a language as long as you're enrolled in class and have already taken the language and need a brush up. I'm also signing up for Gospels. Then from there if I'm reading the schedule I'll be filling up the year with homiletics, Reformed Church history, NT Exegesis, Preaching and a designated course to be named at a later date for the summer. And.. I'm toying with the idea that somewhere in this I'll do my final internship. I must have misunderstood the number of hours - I took the long 300 hours internship and thought there was only a 100 hour one left that can be done in one quarter, but apparantly it's not so - and I have yet another 300 hour internship left - if anyone is reading this from Pasadena am I totally nuts or was there at one time a 100 and 300 hour practicum?

So all in all - good news: back in school. Less than awesome news: may need a walker to get across the platform for my diploma. But still will have over 30 years to be an ordained minister. Guess it's all how you look at it.

Why We Do What We Do

2008-07-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

It's 9 p.m. Nope, it's actually 9:15 p.m. I'm trying to get my thoughts down before I finally exit the church building that I've been in since approximately 7:30 this morning. Tonight we just completed our Ice Cream Social event of VBS. We had a wonderful turnout of both volunteers, parents and their children. And now the youth who just will NOT leave this church (what a problem to have huh?) are in the youth room with their leaders, stereo blasting getting ready to play a game of sardines. I am blown away with how wonderful our VBS program is. I have been blessed by two very dedicated, highly organized and amazing women who have put together this program for the last three years. And each year we raise the bar higher than the previous years excellence. Add to that wonderful base delightful men and women who take time off of their work schedules, take vacations to help lead stations and be support staff; youth who go to swim practice at 7:00 in the morning so they can arrive on time to lead their crew and the go off to summer jobs after they leave us; and a community who provides us with unusual items such as 25 pounds of corn starch, leaf blowers, ice cream and other items to bring the message of the gospel to our kids in experiences they'll relate to. I am really aware that in addition to our annual Building Bridges event, VBS is one of our primary outreach events to the community around us.

Building Confident Young Women

2008-06-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

In the past, when I have been interviewed for ministry related positions I have had many individuals get stuck when they read my educational and research related experience. Yes, my major is pretty banal (psychology) yet my minor is what tends to raise eyebrows occassionally - sociology with a concentration in human sexuality.

What's a nice, Christian girl like me doing studying such a topic as SEX you might ask? Actually, the assumptions begin to fly through some knuckle-dragging neanderthal's heads when they also see that I have been a card-carrying member of the Episcopal Church and strongly moving towards ordination to the priesthood at one time in my life. All of a sudden I have to clarify some interesting stereotypes.

Yet the reality is that for far too long many in the more conservative world have discounted the role of sexuality in the church and in the lives of Christ followers. Sex is a good thing. It is a gift given to us by the Creator to enjoy within the proper confines. We live in a hypersexualized culture. The messages that surround us are grounded in misconstrued sexual images. Men and women are objectified rather than respected. Perceptions of what constitutes beauty are contorted to where they no longer represent reality.

My undergraduate thesis surrounded the pressures on youth with regards to sexuality and sexual activity. We'd like to think that our youth are all being abstinent, yet Jennifer Parker writes in a March/April 2003 issue of Christianity Today that "specific studies of sexual trends among Christian teens have been limited, but all indications are that, on average, there is little difference between their sexual behavior and that of non-Christian youths, other than a tendency to delay their first sexual experience slightly longer." My thesis and belief was if we can provide small group learning experiences, coupled with increasing a youths positive self concept and emotional stability their ability to make choices which include abstinance would increase and/or continue to raise the age of first encounters. At the time, research was very limited on the outcomes, yet longitudinal and anecdotal evidence does indiate that teens who foster spiritual and social relationships within a church or parachurch setting do seem to do better than their counterparts with abstinence issues.

So, how do we begin to encourage and educate our children? As soon as they begin to recognize body parts. Use language that is age appropriate when explaining to children their body. Don't use baby language. Begin to affirm the beauty of their bodies, how uniquely they are created by God. As our children begin to mature, I hope that the children's ministries of the future will have a safe place for girls and guys to begin to address the changes and challenges that begin in their preteen years.

This past week we began our first foray into this realm. After listening to many parents, I began to discover that Christian parents are also at a loss as to how to begin to walk their children through the begining stages of adolescence. Many feel ill equipped because of the decisions they made in their youth; others struggle with how little/much to share and when to do so. Still others struggle with what is an appropriate way to introduce their children to the larger issues that they will undoubtedly face in life, school and social settings - and yes, even in the Church. After several months of research and finding parents comfort levels, discussing the desire to start a group such as this with my EP and getting his support and buy-in, "Faith Girlz" was born.

"Faith Girlz" is a seven-week small group experience for preteen girls in 4th-6th grades. Our first small group experience covers the beginning issues that our youngest preteens are beginning to experience. Health and nutrition; Exercise; Clothing; Self-Respect; Media Influences; Body Care are all tackled. Our 90 minute group time includes a check in period where the girls give feedback on their weekly assignments and their reading. We then have a 30 minute presentation on the topic with time for questions and feedback. A project that allows time to begin assimilating the information follows followed by an opportunity to ground the topic in Scripture.

Our first meeting was this past week - and VERY exciting! We had to increase the size twice to fit in all the requests and have 13 young girls participating in this group. Oh they fit the demographics of pre-teen girls so well. This past week we set out our expectations for small groups, introduced the first word in our faith girlz vocabulary (puberty) and discussed nutrition. We created our personal food pyramids on large conference sized post-it's and labeled our favorite foods in each appropriate section (based on the new USDA's Food Pyramid) Finally, we enjoyed healthy snacks and created a fruit smoothie with a surprise of cabbage and carrot included! Our dare for the week is to find and prepare (and eat!) a new fruit or vegetable or find a way to prepare a fruit or vegetable that the girls do not like.

The response from the girls was that the time was a hit. From parents the feedback almost immediately was astounding. One mom wrote me in an email:

"_______ really enjoyed faith girls, part one! I am working to rearrange our vacation times so she won't miss any of them. I am so excited that you've started this opportunity for the girls because honestly, half the time I find myself struggling with what to say to my little 'preteen.'

Pending the response of this group, we will look into a second in the series on exploring physical, social and emotional changes. This one would be done with parents participation - including medical, social and psychological experts to help guide parents in dealing with important questions.

I also want to have a group similar to this for young boys called "God Guys." It's interesting that I am finding it a challenge to get two young men to facilitate the group. I don't know if it is due to fear an apprehension which I wouldn't be surprised or challenges with regards to their own adolescent experiences. If anyone wants to chime in on reasons they believe the reluctance might be there I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Just for you Dad

2008-06-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

A Day in the Life

2008-05-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

Karl Bastian has done it again over at Toybox Tales! TbT's came from Karl's imagination and a little help from a video camera and computer. Oh and did I mention the action figures? I guess that is a perfect way to reuse all the old figures that have been laying around our bedrooms that our parents have collected and stored for our "kids?" Or so my guy friends tell me. The tales are a wonderful collection of presenting key scriptural, discipleship and theology to children and adults in a way that keeps their attention and makes it resonate in the world where they live. Celebrating his 100th TbT, Karl created one that speaks to the heart of anyone who ministers - yet especially those who minister to children.

http://www.toyboxtales.com/flashtales/100-a-day-in-the-life.html

Sunday Reflection - 525,600 minutes

2008-05-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

525,600 minutes,
525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes!
525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.
It’s time now to sing out,
tho the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love.

This past Thursday marked the one year point back in the Bay Area. It really has been a fresh start in many ways. I find myself on a regular basis using all the discoveries that I've made over the past in my daily life. I knew several years ago it was time to invite God into some of the more deeper areas of my life experience and seek some real, permanant healing. I didn't know at the onset how deep some of the wounds were. Never connected some of the quirks that I had developed with the reason they originated in the first place. Then, once I made the discovery it was learning how to become aware of when/how my buttons were pushed. And boundaries - lots of boundary work. It has been the quintessential "Romans 7" experience of recovery.

I share that because this year has been such a refreshing year. The year that things are beginning to make sense - where I can see the benefit of having gone through all the muck to have moments like I am now. So how do I measure the year in my life?

*In new vision, renewed purpose/passion
*In being stretched and discovering I won't break
*In learning that it is good to ask for help
*In quiet moments, cups of coffee and reflection
*In the gift of long time friendships, and the promise of new ones *In realizing that it isn't "all about me"
*In not buying into the lies of my past
*In seeing God take a vision and start laying the foundation
*In the sense of calm and contentment
*In discovering that God continually is giving me all I need
*In stronger boundaries
*In learning when to speak and when to be quiet
*In understanding the power of speaking blessings

Yesterday I had an opportunity to not revert back to my former actions. I'm a perfectionist at heart, and don't like when things go wrong that are outside of my ability to "fix". When a situation with a vendor rose up a few weeks ago, I began to obsess about it, and realized that it was hitting on one of those old beliefs - that I don't like disappointing people. I let it eat at me for half an hour and then looked at the situation, the options and did what I could to rectify things on my end, communicating to the person where my limits were. In response the person sent me an email this morning telling me how much they appreciated me.

Had I allowed myself to get worked up about the situation to the extent that I have in the past, I would have missed out on the lessons learned this week. Instead, I had a chance to see the positives that have happened in ministry this year, recognize what I have done that is blessing others. See the relationships that have begun, and the ministry relationships that I am developing - and the new friendships that God has blessed me with. And at the end of the day I realize that it is really all about relationships, all about love and all about God working in us in ways we'd never conceive once give permission to move the furniture.

A Prayer for Myanmar

2008-05-06T13:41:00.000-07:00

This beautiful, litany is found on "Monastic Mumblings" (see under "blogs I read" - let us hold up this devastated country in their tragic loss of life, property and infrastructure asking that God may make a way for humanitarian aid and assistance to come to Burma/Myanmar.

Litany for Myanmar

Almighty and gracious God, we come to You with our hearts full of prayers both spoken and those that cannot be put into words. As the ancient psalmist wrote You are our refuge and strength, the light in the darkness, and so with confidence we offer our prayers to You for Myanmar, striken by violent powerful winds, rain and terrifying, destructive ocean surges. Gather them and us under Your wings, calm all our fears and keep our faith strong.

Lord hear our prayers.

At a time like this we stand in awe of the power of nature - the wind and the sea - with its terrible capacity to destroy as well as to save and we are reminded of our vulnerability as human creatures who inhabit this vast earth. We bring to You in prayer our questions, our humility and also our trust in this hour of need.

Lord hear our prayers.

We pray for those who grieve the loss of family, friends and neighbors, for those who are injured, those separated and searching for family, for those who have been traumatized.
we ask for Your continued healing presence in their lives and we commend to Your care all those who have died.

Lord hear our prayers.

We give to Your loving care all those who are involved in rescuing people and those caring for the injured in hospitals and clinics. Be especially with all the churches and people as they minister in Your name to the people. May they be the Christ Who serves with wounded hands,and stretch out their hands to serve. Sustain them through this time of tremendous loss and stress.

Lord hear our prayers.

We commend to Your care all those are working in debris removal and cleaning up. We especially pray for those burdened by unimaginable losses and who have found themselves like refugees in their own country. May shelter and clean water and food and medicines and comfort be supplied as quickly as possible.

Lord hear our prayers

We pray for those - especially the poor, who live along the coast and delta and whose livelihoods have been lost or impacted by this disaster and ask that You would raise them up and bless them. We pray for those whose workplaces have become unsafe and who face an uncertain future and ask that they may find the assistance they need

Lord hear our prayers.

We pray for those communities that have been devastated that they may live and learn and support one another and have joy in their lives once again. May this disaster bring people together to rebuild their cities, and to fill their lives with justice, their plates with food and their streets with music,. Bring them peace and healing from all evil.

Lord hear our prayers.
We pray for those traveling, who feel homesick and far away from loved ones and their homes at this time; those who are trying to get in contact with family and who are worried and frustrated and who long to embrace their families. Comfort families across the distance.

Lord hear our prayers.

We give thanks to God for the blessings in our lives, especially the gifts we so often take for granted until they are in danger of being taken away from us - the gift of family, friends, a home, our possessions. Most of all we praise God for the gift of life itself.

Lord hear our prayers.

We also pray for all people of the human family all around the world affected by other natural disasters. O God, Great Shepherd of the sheep, gather us all in Your arms and lead us safely within the one fold of Your love.

Sermon - Mark Chapter 5

2008-05-06T13:24:00.001-07:00

I was scheduled to preach during this Markan series on the 18th with Mark 6 as my chapter, about a week and a half ago, I was asked to switch with another Pastor and got the plumb chapter - Chapter 5 which was a somewhat less daunting than chapter 6 was.

The sermon prep went well up until the editing - I had the beginning and end and most of the middle was in good shape, I struggled with transition and application in light of the fact that this was the sermon immediately following the "BIG MEETING" we had last Sunday night to finally air out every minute aspect of what had happened over the past year or two. There would be people who I sure would hope that the meeting would be addressed (my response - "sorry, to disappoint but the meeting said it all and it is done and I pray everything is put to rest finally."); but it was a good experience in the fine balance between preaching with the authority given one is given to proclaim the gospel while maintaining the boundary that you are not speaking as the Senior Pastor either.

Then there was the challenge of distilling an entire chapter into a sermon - I could have picked a piece but in studying this past week it really felt to me that to single out on scene would really dillute the impact of what was happening in the entire chapter. Then there was the fact that I had never preached (outside of a liturgical setting that is) on a "Communion Sunday" - thankfully I was able to ask to have the communion done by intinction which really added to the congregational response dimension.

After 5 or so edits on Saturday night, still not totally happy with what was happening, I finally just let it go as you have it here. It's been a long time since being anxious about preaching, but for whatever reason (see the above listed) I was definately aware that I of it. Thankfully once I got into the sermon the anxiety disappeared. (Thank you God for all those acting classes!) So here's the sermon below - if you're interested in an .mp3 email me and as soon as they are ready to go I'll send one to you.

This coming Sunday I'm delivering a combo "Mother's Day/Pentecost" children's sermon in the service - I think I've figured out how to merge the two...be afraid. Be very afraid!

P.S. - the endnotes are not fully cited here, I'm still learning how to use endnote and didn't do it correctly - sorry.

A mission to Awaken – Awaken to Mission
Mark 5
May 4, 2008

How many of you had the opportunity to go to the Progressive Dinner last week? One of the things I enjoyed was playing ‘Human Bingo.” Who knew we had so much talent at SRPC? I discovered we have experienced globe trotters, people who have graced the covers of magazines, and one who can say she is good friends with Shamu-I’m going to let you in on my little factoid I thought was too quirky to list. I love to hang out at airports. It’s the perfect place to people watch. I think it all started in high school when my youth group decided to hang out at the Fresno Airport. There were no great goals of evangelizing passengers but because we were confined to living in Fresno. Living in Fresno as a teen you have to come up with some really creative things to do on a Friday or Saturday night. After all, how many times can you go to Bob’s Big Boy, cruise Belmont Avenue or TP your youth pastor’s home? We’d develop characters, accents, and act out departure or arrival scenes. We’d manage a couple a night depending on how many people we had in our group or until the airport personnel would ask us to take the drama team somewhere else. While our welcome committees were anything but genuine; I’ve noticed something over my years of people watching at airports-I’ve never seen anyone met with jeers rather than cheers.

Last week in our walk through Mark we saw Jesus in two very different ways – we encountered him as one teaching with authority. Jesus would teach as though directly presenting truth rather than recounting what someone else had written. Yet there was another part of Mark 4 that we didn’t cover which leads into today’s chapter. The part took place after the teaching time. Jesus directs the apostles to head in the boat to the other side. In the midst of the travel a storm arose causing all aboard (except Jesus) to panic and fear for their safety. At their insistence and begging, Jesus rose from his sleep and rebuked the winds, causing the storm to cease about them. I’m sure that the 12 began to wonder just exactly who the person in that boat really was.

But another eye opener was waiting for them upon their arrival. The group had barely stepped on dry land when they are greeted by the “welcome committee” from Hell – literally. Their welcome came in the form of a man who had inhabited the nearby graveyard. A person controlled by powers outside of himself; this force has given him the ability to overthrow any attempts to be restrained. Unkempt, unwelcomed, this man is the depiction of the walking dead, just waiting for the actual event to catch up with him.

Jesus has not just traveled into another city – in this trip Jesus had crossed over to the land of the Gentiles. He invaded pagan territory. And the spiritual forces holding onto that area were not pleased. When Jesus arrived into this graveyard, Hell was put on notice. AS the man bows before Jesus and begs him not to torment him we’re presented with an interesting picture – this abnormally strong many prostrating himself before one who has just recently commanded the winds and the waves to be still. Rather than immediately taking on the ungodly presence Jesus does something unusual. He asks the walking dead man his name – Legion, or Mob, is his reply. Jesus knew that to name the demon is to strip it of any authority and gain power over it. In the next few moments, Jesus sends the mob that produces frenzy wherever it runs into a herd of swine, which meets its end as it plunges off the cliffs into the water below. I promise, I won’t make any jokes about flying pigs at this point but from a Jewish perspective, the scene is a joke; unclean spirits and unclean animals are both wiped out in one fell swoop, and a human being is cleansed. (Garland, 1996) Again, people are left wondering just who it is that they are dealing with for they now see in front of them a man who is no longer controlled by mob rule. Who no longer is in such inner pain that the howling has ceased. Who does not need to be restrained but rather now sits at the feet of Jesus clothed and in his right mind. This dead man walking knows he has been restored to life. He is no longer dead and is told by Jesus to go and tell others in the Gentile regions his story and the story of Jesus. The townspeople however, experience the event differently. Rather than continue the journey with Jesus as the disciples would do, the townspeople beg Jesus to leave their city - fearful of what next may happen in this pagan territory.

You’d think that would be enough for Mark to share in this chapter but he continues to describe the further adventures with Jesus. Back into the boat they go – and find themselves back in familiar territory. It’s there that Jesus encounters Jairus. Let’s take a look at verses 21-24:

When Jesus had crossed again in the boat to the other side, a great crowd gathered around him; and he was by the sea. Then one of the leaders of the s synagogue named Jairus came and, when he saw him, fell at this feet and begged him repeatedly, “My little daughter is at the point of death. Come and lay your hands on her, so that she may be made well, and life.” He went with him.

Have you ever noticed that Jairus is the only one in this chapter who is named? Jairus held a position of prestige in the area – he was a leader of the synagogue, which can also be translated “president of the synagogue” (Sacra Pagina, 173) All we know is that his daughter is dying and he has come to bow at Jesus’ feet begging for the life of his child. That’s not the usual position for the religious folk when they encounter Jesus is it? The Greek describes the death as being immanent – time was of the essence. The only thing that was on Jairus’ mind was getting Jesus to his home to save his precious child.

Into the midst of this scene we find yet another person seeking out Jesus. In a bold move, a woman approaches Jesus and grabs onto his clothing. This was a gutsy move on so many levels. Not only is this woman touching a man; this woman has been hemorrhaging for twelve years making her unclean. She shouldn’t have been amongst the crow and she certainly should never have touched a man or spiritual leader. Mark gives us several clues about his woman – she speaks of spending all of her money on doctors – more than likely she was at one time well off – her “money has poured forth from her just as her blood has, yet for all that she has spent, she is worse, not better (O’Day, 247). She chose to seize the moment that has been presented, and found that her action has brought healing to her. Her nightmare was over. Possibly, she thought she could just take this healing and leave unnoticed; yet she was not the only individual who knew that something had happened. In an instant Jesus turned around and addressed those around him, demanding to know who had touched him. She could have chosen to leave, never admitting to her actions, She had w hat she came for. Yet Mark says she did something very curious. She tells “the whole truth “to Jesus. Gail O’Day, Associate Professor of Preaching at Emory University reflects on this odd action

“What does the whole truth have to do with a twelve year flow of blood? One would expect the woman to say to Jesus, “I am the one who touched you,” or “I am the one you seek,” but the woman does not hide behind such partial truths. By telling Jesus the whole truth, she yields her whole self to Jesus and holds nothing back.” (O’Day, 248)

Only in the honesty of whole truth is healing possible. (O’Day, 249) Jesus will not allow her to slip away and remain anonymous. He forces the issue so that when she leaves healed, she will leave knowing that the one who healed her knows her and cares for her. She is a person who is worth taking time with and addressing.

Now don’t forget – when did this whole encounter take place? During Jesus’ escort by Jairus to his home. By the time Jesus is through with his woman, Jairus’ servants have come to him, letting him know that his precious child had died. If I were Jairus – I’d be livid – on a triage scale – dying child trumps woman bleeding 12 years am I not right? Here he is a man of significance, a man of presence and his daughter now lies dead because Jesus too time out for a person of no means. His daughter is dead, and all that Jesus tells him is,”Don’t be afraid’ just believe [i.e., keep on believing].” He had shown faith in coming to Jesus in the first place, now he must continue. But how can faith endure in the face of death, particularly when it hovers over one’s cherished child? Both the woman and Jairus reveal that faith is something that trusts in the midst of hopelessness.

For Jairus, it must have been a challenge to cling onto the words of someone who is telling you your daughter will be well when the mourners are assembled at your home. These friends scoff at the words of Jesus not knowing that He has already raised up a walking dead man, and healed a woman cut off and isolated from community and soon with the words “little girl arise” brought Jairus’ daughter back from the dead.

I’ve marveled at the common thread woven throughout these experiences. All three of these people had experienced a type of death. Bound and tormented the demoniac begged for real death to rescue him from his painful existence; the woman had spent all her money, emotion and hope on cures that never produced healing; a father unable to protect his child from literal death. Each discovered how challenging it is to place one’s entire trust in another – yet each were willing to do just this, placing their literal lives in the hands of Jesus.

It’s no different for each of us. To trust one’s life to Jesus is to trust oneself to the risky possibilities offered by God. In offering our pain to God rather than denying it, we affirm the reality of the cross. The cross isn’t just a symbol of our faith – it is the absolute anchor upon which we fasten ourselves. (O’Day, 250) When we find ourselves found by attitudes, beliefs and actions we can’t seem to break free or for find relief from – we bind ourselves to the cross. If we’re surrounded by dying and broken relationships – we bind ourselves to the cross. The cross reminds us that the gift of life, of resurrection cannot happen unless we place our faith and our lives in the hands of a loving God – knowing that only in God can new life be given. (O’Day, 250)

Just as God through Jesus gave new life to the people we encountered this morning, God is faithful to us. God doesn’t leave us at the cross but restores us, renews us and resurrects us, sending us out to proclaim to others what God has done for us.

(BEAT: Walk to Communion Table)

I love this Table. What a powerful reminder that Jesus right now, is present among us. We come not only as individuals to the Table, we come as a community. A family that has been through much. This morning we have a holy moment to receive and extend life to our brothers and sisters in this room.

What happens at the Table is a mystery to me – God simultaneously reaching both individuals and this entire family with God’s presence and power. As we prepare to move into Communion this morning et us remember that Jesus is present to heal, to restore, and to resurrect. Just as the three people we encountered this morning, we can choose to let go of the things that have bound us, haunted us or are slowly killing our spirits when we come to the Table. It’s only by God’s amazing grace that we are made free.

ENDNOTES

Garland, “Original Meaning” In NIV Application Commentary, New Testament: Mark. 202-218. Grand Rapids:MI Zondervan © 1996.
“Sacra Pagina” Mark 173
O’Day, 247
O’Day 248
O’Day, 250

Sunday Thought - When Your Church is Waiting for It's Second Wind

2008-04-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, I finally had my first very minor freak out at church recently. Seems there have been a few people that a year and months after the SP's departure are still struggling with things related to that. It's not important to list those details, but I guess it could summarized in "at least in Egypt we knew what to expect. In the desert it's new every day."

From what I understand from my very healthy and in shape running friends, the ultimate test is to run a marathon. I had thought about it when I was much thinner, exercised to "wog" (walk/job) the 26.2 mile endeavor) as part of the Lukeumia Society's "Team in Training." I went as far as reaching my financial goal to participate yet found myself struggling in the training department. The people in the running group were runners. I am not. They were sleek, toned, conditioned and experienced. I was thin for me, but no where near their physical condition. At the end of my first morning I left and cried in the bathroom at home feeling like I was an absolute failure. From that point on I had conditioned myself to believe that I would never succeed in the experience and of course fulfilled my own self-fulfilling prophecy.

A few years ago, I came to discover something I didn't know about churches. Churches are full of imperfect people. For those of you who are more astute than I, you probably already knew that. I, on the other hand am either too Pollyanna-ish, or just incredibly slow on the uptake. When I began working in church life, it was amazing to discover that the individuals who "do" church on Sundays struggle with the same behaviors, personalities, doubts and flaws as those in the pews do. I guess somewhere in the process, I thought that leaders were farther along in the sanctification process than pew people. What I discovered was that outside of the service, people are people. When I began to step into leadership, the areas and issues I dealt with seemed to fly up into my face on a daily basis. It is a challenge to think that others look to you as a source of hope and wisdom for their spiritual lives when sometimes you are asking yourself the same questions that they are. When churches (and leadership) struggle it's often because we have lost sight of our own limitations, we hold someone to a higher standard of behavior than we hold ourselves to ("I want a Pastor/leader to be the kind of Christian I can't be") or we just can't let go of the past and begin to move forward in hope.

So - back to the minor freak moment. I had left knowing that there were at least two families on the "departing the church" fence. One had already notified me that they were leaving. Because we're a small church, and thus a small Children's Ministries program, any family that leaves creates a significant dent in our percentages. When I arrived back, the dent was a 10%+ decline rate in our Children's numbers. I'm thankful to learn that all the families that I spoke with over the past few months that were leaning towards departure were doing so for reasons outside of the ministry area I have oversight to - yet saddened nonetheless to see them leave. A second blow came when I arrived back into the office and discovered our Student Ministries Director had submitted their resignation. That's when the freak happened. Not because of the resignation, but of what that might signify to individuals - would they think that the health of Children/Youth programs were at stake? Was there something going on that they should be concerned about? For me - the inevitable questions was "would I have a job this time next year?" followed by "*$&%, I found a place that I sync with, and is that in jepoardy?"

God, my Spiritual Director tells me, is more concerned with my willingness to obey than my obedience when all the dots are connecting. It's the reminder that humanity is in the dark no matter how clearly we think we see the picture before us. When our community moves forward with a pledge drive to secure finances for our SP position, we are moving foward in the belief that not only is this church going to be here in twelve months, but we will be moving forward in vision and purpose under the leadership of an SP. When I am creating my budget for Children's Ministries, I am believing that outreach and connecting with the community will become a bigger part of what we do as a community than it has during this hibernation period. When we search for an interim Youth Director, we're letting parents know that nothing will stall, and we're moving forward believing for new things for our youth. Where before I would have wanted to polish off the resume at the first sign of trouble, I came out of the moment more committed to the ministry set before me. God has (and is) calling me to radical trust in this area. There are good things waiting to happen, transition happens. And yes, it often takes much longer to happen than we think it should.

Leaders are not perfect. Pastors (and ministry staff) are no different than anyone else, with the minor exception that we may be more aware of our weaknesses to the extent that we're vulnerable before God. Our community has been running the equivalent of a marathon these past few months/years and we are hitting the proverbial 24.0 mile marker. I hear this for some is the "wall" point. Where you are willing to cash in all your chips and just stop believing you don't have enough stuff left in you to finish the race. For some people in the community, I think this is where they are at. Change takes time. It's hard to keep moving forward when one is not totally sure where you are going. It's been a long season, and the ending point still isn't in clear sight. Perhaps it would have been better to never have started the journey at all, rather finding something else to do (or place to worship)instead.

But it's after the wall that you hit your second wind. That energy that comes seemingly out of nowhere to propell you towards the finish. For us, that wind takes place in the interview that is happening across the hall for an Interim Youth Director, the Search Committee who is having second interviews with applicants, the Children's Ministry team who is gearing up for VBS with kickoff Sunday today and recruiting for Summer Children's Church. It's reminding ourselves that we are a part of something greater than what we can physically see - and this is the point of the race we're running that we sometimes need to focus our eyes on the crowd of witness cheering us on while waiting for the finish line to come more clearly into focus.

With a little help from my friends

2008-04-06T22:58:00.001-07:00

It's Sunday night and I'm sitting in a LaQuinta Inn hotel room in Fresno, CA. This is the final pit stop on the "couch trip express." I am finding it hard to believe that after tomorrow, I'll be back in the real world again. And - looking forward to my next vacation in June.

Here are a few of the highlights:

I've never been called "grandma" before!: P, my best friend's little boy (age 5 1/2) shared in his J-Kindergarten class that he thought his grandma was coming to visit him that afternoon. Wow, now I know that I must look old to a 5 year old! He now has the distinct privilege of being the only person anywhere on the face of the earth who can call me grandma and live!

How fast time flies: It's hard to believe that P's sister M has just turned 8. She is becoming a darling little girl who is intelligent, sensitive, funny and athletic. Her passion is gymnastics and I marvel at the way that she moves her body so effortlessly on and off of a balance beam.

Friends: My former Rector in Beverly Hills told me that the relationships that I make in seminary would last a lifetime. Fuller has given me an opportunity to cross paths with so many - and there are 5 in particular that I can't imagine not having them a part of my world. This past week I was able to catch up with them. We had a great dinner Thursday night at my friend E's new home - she and her fiance R just purchased a home and we all had a chance to catch up there. Two of the group introduced us to their new significant others and the others (me that is!) enjoyed the introduction.

pampering is in: I finally used the last of the spa coupons that I have been saving since 2004 - yes you read correctly. Thursday I had a mini spa morning with a massage, mani/pedi and the Langham (former Ritz Carlton in Pasadena). The grounds are gorgeous, the time and quiet sublime and there's that little girl that all women have that loved to be pampered and have her nails done. On Saturday I took N back to the hotel for high tea. While we were there we had a chance to watch an outdoor wedding on the back lawn of the hotel - with a couple of my friends marrying this year I'm once again caught up in the news and pre wedding plans of friends. Two pots of tea, a wide variety of treats later we left happy and pampered.

Unexpected Surprises: ASL Story Time at the Deaf West Theatre in Hollywood. My friend E is taking certification courses in ASL and I got to tag along while she completed an assignment. Signed by a member of the Theatre, Rainbow Fish, Peter Rabbit and Wonderful Nature, Wonderful You were signed for both hearing and non hearing children and adults. Watching the dance between the spoken and unspoken word was beautiful to watch, especially as hearing impaired children had a chance to participate in something as simple as sharing a story together.

Griffith Park: My friend S surprised me this morning by taking me to lunch and then time at the Griffith Park Observatory. It had been closed for several years for major refurbishing and retrofitting and I guess opened up again last year. I can't wait to post the pics. The new presentation that the observatory has "Centered in the Universe" is a beautiful mixture of music, sight, sound and story woven together in a way that engages the audience in the quest for what lies outside of the world that we know. With hands on demonstrations and some incredible new exhibits it is worth the visit - especially when the only admission ($7) is for the presentation.

Good Friends: I lived in LA for over 14 years and there are two women in particular who I consider good friends. J, is the mom of P and M, my former roommate. We still have the ability to return to "roommate speak", finishing or saying the same thing at exactly the same time. S is a creative, passionate woman who enjoys life. 3 years is too long not to see each other, yet the test of friendship I guess can be that we pick up without missing a beat when we're together, no matter how much time has passed.

Well, it's after midnight, and I am going to pack it in for now. Tomorrow/today I am going to the cemetary to take care of my dad's grave and hopefully take a drive along the blossom trail which should be beautiful this time of year. It's been over five years since I've been in the city and I am curious to see how much it's changed. Then it's home to my little Diva Dog, my awesome roommie who has been taking care of her all week and life as usual.

Quiet Time

2008-04-02T16:54:00.001-07:00

My drive down to Santa Barbara was an absolutely beautiful drive. I was totally surprised not to hit any real traffic to speak of during Tuesday morning commute on the 101 going through San Jose. The wet winter has created some of the most beautiful hillscapes that I have seen as I drove through the Central Coast. It's been so long since I've visted San Luis Obispo or Atascadero that I have forgotten their quaint, charm and beach city vibe. Going the legal speed limit, I made Santa Barbara in about 4.5 hours and found my way up into the Santa Barbara Hills

to Mount Calvary Retreat House and Monastery:

Mt. Calvary is an Episcopal/Anglican Monastic Order of the Holy Cross which follows the rules of St. Benedict. They are known for their gift of hospitality to the visitor/guest and go out of their way to ensure that your time at the retreat house/monastery is a blessed on.

The view today was absolutely gorgeous. A rain storm was headed inland and so the whispy clouds hung over the tips of the hills throughout the day. The brothers who call Mt. Calvary home have an ecclectic palate of life experiences, and talents. Brother William is an avid gardener who has been a part of the Botanical Gardens in Santa Barbara for years. Brother Roy produces some of the most beautiful caligraphy work I have ever seen, Brother Lawrence is an avid astronomer to at one time was a docent with JPL going to schools in the area. I have a couple of his photographs taken during a meteror shower with behind the large iron cross standing in the midst of their courtyard. Another recent addition to the home is Brother Joseph who last time I was there was involved in "writing" an icon (writing is a spiritual practice of drawing/painting a sacred picture.)

It amazing to me that a place like this one can literally produce such a sense of peace and openness to the sacred within me each time I visit. I hesitate using the phrase "sacred space" because the reality is that everywhere we go - we bring Christ/God into the space thus making it sacred and holy - but there are places that seem to be a bit easier to be open to God in. The Irish call these places "the thin places"; spots where the veil between the natural and supernatural world are very thin. I can feel my body begin to relax almost immediately, my constant movement forward grind to a complete halt when I arrive and walk into the chapel for prayers.
I think I am a closet monastic - there is something that resonates so deep in me with the rhythm of daily prayer in a community. That was one of the things that I do mmiss the most about not working at my old church in Beverly Hills. Every day no matter what the entire staff gathered together for noonday prayer. It was difficult at first to pull away from what I was working on, but as soon as I developed the pattern, I came to find great enjoyment.

When I left the familiar, it was a challenge to take the rhythm that I had made for myself into another environment. Praying by myself at morning, noonday and compline seemed hollow and empty. Even though I was praying the "we" in the Offices, I still felt separated.

I'm thankful that many Protestants are now becoming aware of the importance of developing sacred spaces and a value for the rhythms normally found in monastic communities. I just recently discovered a Protestant Monastic Community in the Bay Area that gathers several times a week for evening prayer - hopefully I will get the guts up to check it out soon.

In the meantime today marked a special day for me. I decided about a year ago to apply for membership as an Associate of the Holy Cross. Briefly,these are men and women who support the work of the Order through prayer, community and financial endeavors. While they do not live in a monastic community, they stay connected through developing their own "Rule of Life", and engaging in active spiritual practices that have meaning for them. I extended my 6 month probationary period when I made the decision to formally leave the ECUSA for personal reasons at that time.

Today, however, I formally was received as an Associate. It signified that I have finally come to a place where I can say that I have made peace with the fact that how I would participate in ordained ministry will look different than my vision. Metaphorically speaking I cut the last cords this past year and now am ready to engage wherever God is placing me. And - it appears that God is moving in some interesting places of late. It's too early to speak about them but I would appreciate your prayers.

Here are some more pics of the surrounding plants and other to enjoy. I'm working on a labyrinth photo prayer which I hope to have up soon.

Ah rest!

2008-04-02T16:49:00.001-07:00

Did you feel the earthquake? You should have because it is official - I am on VACATION! I left Tuesday morning for Southern California. First stop is Santa Barbara where I will be starting my time off the right way with a stay in one of the most hospitable monasteries - Mt. Calvary. Then I am off to friends in Santa Clarita. The rest of the time will be spent connecting with friends from Fuller, LA and other places, a well needed hair cut from the master of all stylists who used to do my hair in LA, cashing in gift certificates at the Ritz Carlton Pasadena (or whatever it is called now). Then heading back to the Bay Area via Fresburg (otherwise known as Fresno) to take care of my dad's gravesite and hopefully have a cup of java with a highschool friend I've recently reconnected with via Facebook.

I'll post some pic's shortly as a reflection of my time away!

God as Paradox

2008-03-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I have reflected upon this Lent is the God of the Paradox. God alone is not paradoxical, yet does chose consistently throughout the pages of Scripture to use paradox as a means to continually throw humanity off and take notice.

How often have I put away thoughts or ideas with the excuse that "it's not in my giftset", "I'm not qualified", or the worn-out "and how am I to fit this into my already loaded schedule?"
As I looked through the pages of Scripture at Moses, Esther, Ruth, the Disciples, Jesus (obviously) and others I started looking at my excuses a bit closer. As I started to consider the lives of individuals such as Wilber Wilberforce, Mother Teresa, Hudson Taylor, Billy Graham, Francis of Assisi and others - I realized that none of them were prepared or equipped to do the task that was set before them initially. All had to trust God to provide them the skills, experiences, personnel and energy to carry forth the vision that had been laid on their heart.

Perhaps we (universally speaking, not from a guilt-inducing place) discount too quickly that quiet whisper of the Spirit within our inner being? There has been one project that has repeatedly come up that I long to do yet think that I still am not ready to do it - I lack the full M.Div. for credability, I've no real experience in this area, I'm not sure that others have seen a gifting in this area that confirms that I could do it. Etc., Etc., Etc. From what I hear from others - I'm not alone in this thinking.

I think the real issue is fear. Plain old "in your face" fear. Of the unknown, of failure, of falling on my tukus in broad daylight. Of being called out as untalented. Yet, it seems that these are the qualities and personalty types that God uses over and over again.

Easter saw eleven men and countless others blown away by their expectations. God lived within the man they called Jesus. The man who was dead but now again lives. The one who healed the sick, brought about miracles, made plain and alive the words of Torah. These same people, huddled together in an upstairs room eventually took the simple yet paradoxical teachings of Jesus out of their cities, to the ends of the earth.

Easter is celebrated on Sunday but is lived throughout the week. My prayer for all this Holy Week is that we too would find those dreams resurrected within us and become empowered by the Spirit of the Resurrected One to see what could happen if we say yes to the paradoxical idea.

Calling for prayer

2008-02-29T16:17:00.000-08:00

Hi all-
It's been a tremendously busy week and I'll be posting what's been happening probably on Sunday after work.

In the meantime, please hold up my friend Jane in your prayers. I received word this week (on Wednesday) that she is very ill and the doctors are still trying to figure out what is going on in her body. At this point it is still a mystery as to the source of the infection that is ravaging her body. I've attached the latest news from a friend so you can keep her before the Great Healer:

I talked to P. Jane is still doing poorly. She has a huge kidney stone, but they can't do ultrasound, b/c the meds and position she'd have to be in would be detrimental to her right now.

They still haven't found the source of the infection.

She has septicemia, which, according to the doctor, is an improvement for her. If her condition worsens, however, she will have to go on a ventilator and life support.

One side of her heart is enlarged, and they have to give her blood thinners for possible clots.

P also said that she needs to eat and drink more for tests the doctors want to run, but she's not doing so. There is a particular liquid she has to drink, and both he and S are trying to coax her into drinking it, at least enough for whatever test to be run. He also mentioned that she's still not getting much sleep.

The biggest prayer request, P said, is that they can nail down the source of the infection.

P. is going back to the hospital later, and I told him I'd call tomorrow for another update. He said he'd tell Jane that we love her and are praying for her.

2008-02-22T13:04:00.000-08:00

Introducing the oPod!

2008-02-08T16:25:00.000-08:00

Our 1st through 3rd grade class has spent the past unit on obedience and making right choices. My friend, who belongs to another denomination shared that in their primary education they refer to this process as "choosing the right." It is promoted through jewelry, music, and regular classroom and family reinforcement.But what if we were to bring the concept of "choosing the right" or "making good life choices" into the technological age? What would it possibly look like?

The assignment was somewhat tricky. Our students were requested to create a product that would help them obey and make good choices. Then, create a commercial explaining this product to the public. It took a bit of time to help them understand that the product could be something no one has thought of yet - most were had a challenge moving from general answers such as "the Bible", "my parents" and "the police" as things to help them obey; although great ideas. Finally someone said an i-pod, which led to the invention of the 'o-pod' which would download all the reminders they needed to hear daily and not stop playing them until they had finished/fulfilled the request. They, they came up with scenarios that they had challenges obeying and helped to refine the script. The results? You judge for yourself!!!!

Lent for the Non-Liturgical

2008-02-07T10:48:00.000-08:00

Gain from the richness of liturgy, even if you're "proudly steeped in free church tradition."
by Elizabeth Diffin

A colleague wrote recently how his church, proudly steeped in free church tradition, was rediscovering the Christian calendar. In particular, a little Lenten liturgy had a profound impact on a people largely unacquainted with the Stations of the Cross.

Here the Lent-informed offer a few ideas for the less liturgical among us.

Embrace symbols. Lent is a time for quiet contemplation and grievance for sin. Decorate the sanctuary with cracked clay pots and jars to symbolize brokenness. Or give each member of your congregation a small piece of burlap to tear during a time of silent confession, as they did in Bible times.

Give it up. The traditional Lenten practice of "giving up" doesn't have to be restricted to food or drink. Encourage your congregation to give up time or money to a local charity. Others may want to abstain from eating out or from their daily latte and donate that money to missions.

Pare it back. The simplicity of Lent can also apply to our churches. Perhaps your worship music can be sung a cappella or the sanctuary's decorations placed in storage. One congregation closes the shutters on their windows during Lent, limiting the mental trips outdoors during the service. If you're really feeling radical, limit the number of extraneous church meetings during Lent. Can the church board postpone their meeting until the 40 days are up?

Explain the meaning. For those who didn't grow up in the church or who aren't familiar with liturgy, Lent has a number of unfamiliar traditions. Use a Sunday morning service to explain the ancient origins as well as some present-day applications. Congregation members can be recruited to share their own "Lent stories."

Reach out. Lent is a time of preparation for Easter, so why not use it to invite others to the holy day? Launch a Lenten Evangelism Campaign and encourage your congregation to give Easter invitations to their friends and neighbors. The most enthusiastic can aim for 40 invitations in 40 days.

Imitate the servant. Touch your neighbors by using the Saturdays of Lent to serve the community. Paint playground equipment, feed the homeless, or do yard work for the elderly. It's a chance for all ages to help out together.

Reconcile. Lent is the season of reconciliation between God and man. But man-to-man reconciliation is also important. This Lenten season, encourage congregants to reach out to at least one person they have wronged, or been wronged by, in the past. Then they can add the person to their prayer list for the rest of the year.

Zoom Zone Talk for February - Winners and Losers

2008-02-06T12:44:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow's Zoom Zone Event (youth group for 4th & 5th Graders) is "Gladiator Night" after dinner (thanks to our awesome parent squad), games such as "Joust", "Assault" and "Power Ball", we'll have an ending devotional about Winning and Losing. Here is the clip we'll be using from "SURF's UP" and the devotional. Enjoy!

Winners and Losers What makes a winner?

Can you tell if someone's a winner by what they look like? How they act? What they think?

Sometimes we confuse winning with being a winner. There's a big difference. We are already winners because God has created each one of us. God's given us talents and gifts that are unique to each one. They fit us like a glove.

We all like the feeling that comes with winning. We like having people pat us on the back and say "Good work." We like the feeling of doing something great. But nobody likes a poor winner. How do you help "not" getting a big head? Remember that while you won, you may lose next time. We may practice and be the best at something but we're never guaranteed to always win.

Sometimes we'll lose. Even when we've done an outstanding job. So what happens when you lose?

Do you tell yourself how bad you are at whatever you did? No

Do you blame others for messing up? Nope

Do you whine? Pout? Oh please, say no.

Do you tease or make fun of others who didn't play or work as well as you? See the answers above.

It's important to remember that God doesn't make junk. It's not cool to talk down about yourself, others think they have permission to think that way about you as well! When you're tempted to think about yourself in a way that is negative; remember how God sees you. God sees you as someone full of potential, full of talent and loves you for who you are not what you do.

It takes time to figure out what you're good at, which means, you need to take some risks and try different things. And you need to practice. No one is perfect. The NY Giants will be the first to tell you that it is practice that helps a team succeed when the challenge is difficult.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. What's important is remembering that trophies and ribbons eventually lose their sparkle. The gifts and talents inside of you shine forever.

How Do You Train?

2008-01-22T13:54:00.000-08:00

Have you ever found yourself struggling to hang a picture or do some sort of trivial job around the house without the right tools at hand? It never seems to fail that I'm missing the right size nail, or discover I don't have the Phillips screwdriver when I need one at home. I'm prepping to finally decorate my new bedroom and decided to pull all the things that I need together in advance. It's making the jobs like hanging drapes so much easier! Imagine only drilling a hole once, because you actually had the right materials from the beginning.

I've been reading with great interest the forum on Kidology.org about how people involve teens/older students and adults in training for ministry. It's been terrific hearing how many different ways there are to provide individuals with the right tools for the job. One of the things that I thought about Children's Ministry before I became involved in it is that you get thrown into the proverbial lion's den with little training, a hunk of meat and 12 hungry lions all licking their lips! My impression came from the fact that in most of the churches that I have worked at there has been little training provided and even less encouragement. I've personally struggled with how to bring people up to speed with training or adding tools to their toolboxes. I'm still looking for ways that work with a group of volunteers whose lives are perpetually behind the wheel of a car, don't like to come out after dark and are beyond busy. What do you do to encourage this segment of your teachers?

Meanwhile, I also have a group of excited, dedicated young people in Middle School and High School. We started a new training group for them called Teens in Training or T-N-T. This group meets monthly to work on a new skills (this quarter it is on telling stories "Teaching Like Jesus") The goal is that this group will be learning and practicing their story telling skills through the Spring, and then will have a large role in our summer Children's Church services. Each month the kids will have one story to "practice" telling in front of the others using different techniques such as props, voice inflections, pictures, media and whatever other ideas pop into their little creative minds.

We're meeting tomorrow and I am excited to see what the response is from the kids - they are excited to be a part of the group and my goal is to pour into them now so that they will continue to grow in their gifts and ministry experience.

H

Bethlehem Village Pictures

2008-01-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from our "Bethlehem Village" rotational event on December 23rd for Sunday School. Given our very tight budget ($250.00 total), I was amazed at what we were able to do using several donations of baskets, cans and cans of spray paint and some creativity!

Vision and Mission Statement Part Four

2008-01-04T11:48:00.000-08:00

Theory into Practice

The above philosophy with regards to Ministry to Children is thoughtful yet without a solid backbone it fulfills no real purpose.

Current Practice/Goals 2007-2008 Academic School Year
This initial year in Children’s Ministries will be spent on these primary goals:

Relationship Building
Building strong relationships amongst Leaders, Staff and Session

Identifying key leaders in Children’s Ministries

Identifying potential leaders for Children’s Ministries

Building relationships with children and families on a first name basis

Building a means by which parents are able to communicate needs/desires with Children’s Ministries

Identification/Branding
Exploration into core values and beliefs of SRPC in general and Children’s Ministries in particular.

Identification of primary core values for Children’s Ministries

Creation of branding which reflects initial core values

Begin use of branding and phrases “under the radar” to build familiarity

Implement first tier of branding (intermediate logo and visuals, letterhead, currently @ branding, color branding for newsletter, web design etc.

Review of Spiritual Formation Program
Walk through one year of life at SRPC, noting key events, registration and ministry involvement

Review curriculum(s) for current ease of use, theological concepts, “in agreement” with core values and mission/vision of SRPC

Identification of key “rite of passage” opportunities already in place. Enriching these opportunities and building in a communication of “why” these are important experiences in the life of a child/family and in the life of the corporate body

Outreach
Identify outreach targets (new families, geographical location(s)) of high concentration demographics, values of demographics

Observe current outreach methodology and make suggestions for future use

Research successful/potentially successful outreach opportunities for community (sports, VBS, holiday functions, educational opportunities, activities etc.)

Create “in house” outreach opportunities for children and families (Coat donations, holiday experiences, missionary experiences)

Creation of newsletter to be used for information and outreach to community

Recruiting/Restructuring of Ministry
Observation and conversations on what is working within Children’s Ministries with regards to recruiting, parent participation.

Beginning to form conversations around future growth, and creating an initial implementation plan for growth

Communicating with larger congregation about opportunities to participate in ministry both in class and outside of service. Use of profiles, newsletters, email etc. to communicate excitement rather than “need.”

Vision and Mission Statement Part Three

2008-01-04T11:46:00.000-08:00

Learning Jesus

Building a loving relationship between the young child and Jesus is a natural desire of SRPC’s parents. Yet as a recent listening process uncovered, parents struggle with how to nurture their child’s burgeoning spirituality. Parental dialogue brought up personal and family struggles such as the lack of resources to answer their children’s spiritual questions, attempting to personally answer the same theological questions that they find their children asking. For several, their childhood did not include any or an erratic religious exposure causing the parent(s) to feel inadequate in providing spiritual guidance to their children in the area of Scripture. It is not uncommon to hear the response “my children know more about the Bible than I do” when listening to SRPC parents.

There are several themes within the context of Children’s Ministries with regards to whose responsibility it is to train and nurture of a faith community’s children. One can find ministries which hold the belief that it is the responsibility of those skilled in theology to impart the truths of Scripture and Doctrine to the young child, a second holds that Scripture firmly mandates that it is the sole duty of parents to administer spiritual training thus not holding any formal spiritual training for children. SRPC Kids mission is to assist parents in their God-given task to guide their children in developing and nurturing their growing spirituality.

Spiritual Formation vs. Sunday School

The paradigm of the traditional Sunday School experience is currently under revision in the field of ministry to children. Educators such as Sofia Cavelleti and Jerome Berryman have revisited the standard model of Christian Education. In their work, they have come to an understanding of the catechesis or spiritual formation of children that includes the following key points:

All individuals are “hard wired” to know God. Children have yet to have their instinctive knowledge of God tarnished, thus they hold an innate understanding and appreciation of the mystery and awe of God found through the internalization of Scripture.

Rather than the model of the adult as teacher to children, it is the work of the Holy Spirit to impart wisdom and understanding to Scripture. This does not equate to a form of spiritual anarchy but rather a recognition that the child and God are in a constant internal conversation. Those who are blessed with the privilege of working with children are entrusted as a facilitator of this conversation within a worship experience.

Play is the work of the child. It is through the interaction of repetitive action, scripture and objects that a child discovers truths and concepts.

Children are now a part of the digital age. Their world is fast paced, noisy and image laden. What they lack is the opportunity to quiet themselves to hear what the Spirit is speaking.

It is curious to consider how one can integrate the idea of a classical catechetical model which nurtures the reflective nature of spiritual formation and the young child with the technological age in which children reside. This question is one of the primary reflections which SRPC Kids will focus on over next period. With parent input and participation, it is hoped that the following goals will be accomplished which will enhance SRPC Kids ability to nurture the spiritual formation of our children.

Reviewing and providing feedback regarding currently used curriculum; making suggestions as to possibilities of new curriculum direction.

Creating key “rites of passage” within Children’s Ministries which include Infant baptism/dedication, “first” participation in the Lord’s Supper, Third Grade Bible, blessing and acknowledgement of transition from Children’s Ministry into Student Ministry by the entire faith community.

Development of resources for parents to enrich their opportunities for spiritual formation such as web site development, communication of weekly themes for each grade/age level.

In addition, SRPC Kids is committed to reframing the spiritual vocabulary connected with our ministry to children.

Recognizing that to truly minister to children, ministry should occur within the context of families.

The concept of Sunday School no longer is applicable to the true goal of faith communities ministry to children and families, thus introducing the concept of spiritual formation both defines and communicates the role and mission of this ministry.

The child’s act of worship continues after dismissal from the larger community worship thus signifying a departure from the classical educational model found in a large majority of churches.

Vision and Mission Statement Part Two

2008-01-04T11:45:00.000-08:00

Loving Jesus

The message and teachings of Jesus stress the concept of a spirituality founded not within an individual but within the larger Kingdom of God. Like the proverbial stone’s ripple as it is thrown into a body of water, our lives and our actions as followers of Christ stretch out into the larger world community. SRPC Kids continues to foster within our children the ethos of our own community to love Jesus, love other and love our world.

Loving each other: Reinforcing the believe that each of us are created as unique individuals possessing the image of God within, SRPC Kids holds to a foundational belief that all children are respected for the uniqueness they possess. This respect for the child translates into creating an environment where children’s needs are embraced.

To the extent possible, children’s physical, developmental and emotional needs are incorporated into the regular classroom setting. Ministry staff is provided resources needed to incorporate the child into their community.

Children are provided opportunity to respect individuals and encouraged to support and develop friendships.

Loving Jesus: As an understanding of living out the message of the gospel in our daily lives grows, children come to develop a sensitivity to how they also can influence and effect positive change in the lives of their families, peers and their culture.

Loving the world: Creating opportunities for Children’s Ministry to directly impact the community around them through projects such as Blue Star Moms, projects that impact inner city ministries such as City Impact and City Team Oakland.

Vision and Mission Statement Part One

2008-01-04T11:39:00.000-08:00

I have finally completed my first draft/version of the Vision and Mission statement for Children's Ministry. I've placed it here to share with you some of the broader thoughts and reflections that I have with regards to the ministry to children in general, and its future ramifications.

Ministry Principle Verse:

So Jesus grew both in height and in wisdom, and he was loved by God and by all who knew him.
Luke 2:52 (New Living Translation)

Rationale:

Children are a work in progress, possessing a natural curiosity and desire to understand the world about them. Their discovery of the world leads to an acknowledgement of a great Designer/Creator God. Within a Christian context, this acknowledgement of God also includes an introduction to Jesus, the one “who holds all creation together” (Col. 1:17).

The primary goal of childhood is to discover, gain and appropriate the tools necessary for a healthy maturity. Self-care skills lead to eventual autonomy. Cognitive development prepares the way for gaining knowledge. Emotional nurturing provides the foundation upon which healthy socialization will continue throughout one’s life. While the pages of Scripture are dark as to the exact nature of Jesus’ childhood, Luke makes a point to acknowledge that Jesus himself appeared to meet and exceed these key developmental milestones. The result was a person who understood his purpose and destiny. It is the goal that this ministry to children would also allow children an opportunity to acknowledge they are the imago Dei-ones created in the image of their Creator, gifted with talents and skills both natural and spiritual which will bring glory to God.

Therefore, the Children’s Ministry of San Ramon Presbyterian Church’s mission and vision can be encapsulated in the following statement: Living, loving and learning in Jesus.

Living in Jesus

Children as Members of the Church

On the other hand, children derive some benefit from their baptism, when, being ingrafted into the body of the church, they are made an object of greater interest to the other members. Then when they have grown up, they are thereby strongly urged to an earnest desire of serving God, who has received them as sons by the formal symbol of adoption, before, from nonage, they were able to recognize him as their Father.

Institutes 4.16.9

The introduction of the young child to the Church local begins with the practice of baptism and/or dedication. While paedobaptism is a topic of some debate amongst reformed traditions, Scripture provides a firm foundation for the practice of baptizing infants/young children found in the illustration of circumcision as a symbol of the covenant between God and humanity. Circumcision in this aspect is a means by which grace and mercy is extended to the child by the covenant entered into by the parents until such a time as the child acknowledges this covenant for themselves. Whether a family chooses to initiate a child into the life of the household of faith by baptism or dedication, the act of presenting and committing a child to God in front of the community illustrates an important concept, the young child is an active member of the faith community possessing gifts and talents to both learn and serve the community and the Kingdom of God at large.

The belief of children as members ultimately defines how a ministry to children is achieved. For a child to thoroughly understand their current and eventual role in the local faith community and the Body of Christ at large, exposure and acceptance of children at gatherings must be emphasized. A child learns of the importance of worship not by having it explained but by experiencing the act of worship itself. Therefore SRPC Kids places a high priority upon the inclusion of children within a variety of worship contexts – both corporate and developmentally unique to the young child. Exposure of children to “body life” provides natural moments of understanding more fully their own relationship with God. This exposure to corporate worship moments include (but are not limited) to:

Baptisms and Dedications of infants and children

Participation in corporate worship both through music, prayer and ministry

Participation in sacramental life of the body (Baptism and Lord’s Supper when appropriate)

Ministering to the local faith community through service to the local body and the local community (offering of music, dance, leading in corporate prayer, assisting in ministry tasks such as greeting, collection of offering, participation in Building Bridges service events)

Age appropriate worship experiences such as Wonders of Worship

Baptisms and Dedications
Children will be encouraged to gather in front for dedications and baptisms of infants and children, allowing them to become better acquainted with the symbols and practices of the experience. Exposure to experiences such as these allow a child to develop within themselves an appreciation of their own spiritual journey, while exposing them to key rites of passages of the spiritual journey.

Corporate Worship
The ability to worship both in music and movement is an important part of child development. It is through the use of all senses that a deeper connection to the mystery and wonder of God develops. Children are encouraged to worship God as they feel comfortable during the worship service. Their time in the larger community communicates a message that they are a part of the church now not just when they are older.

Sacramental Participation
Participation in the sacramental life of the church connects a child to the fact that they are welcomed and hold an important role in the faith community. Exposure to sacraments of Baptism and the Lord’s Supper provide a means by which children experience the fullness of discipleship. As a child begins to understand and desire to participate in sacraments, all means should be made to instruct, encourage and involve the young child in this aspect of their faith development.

SRPC Kids will offer to both parents and children opportunities to come together specifically for instruction in Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. For children presented in dedication, opportunities for formal baptism instruction will begin in the Spring of their third grade year; for instruction in the Lord’s Supper, opportunities for instruction will begin in their fourth grade year, with the goal of all fifth graders participating in the Lord’s Supper by Spring of their fifth grade year as a “spiritual rite of passage.”

Ministering to the local community
SRPC Kids is committed to developing within the young child an acknowledgement of one’s developing natural and spiritual gifts. Opportunities to contribute to a worship experience include presenting music and dance for worship, leading in the reading of Scripture and corporate prayer, serving within the service as appropriate. This provides children with a sense of importance as well as reminding the larger community of the ability of children to minister to adults.

Age Appropriate Worship Experiences
SRPC Kids is fortunate to have creative and enthusiastic adults who are committed to providing children with their own opportunities for corporate worship on a monthly basis. This allows the young child to be ministered to in a larger group setting while building within them an understanding of the importance and excitement of worship.

The Day After

2007-12-26T14:26:00.001-08:00

My first Advent at my new church was a positive experience. Four weeks spent looking at the unexpected of God breaking through into individuals lives that never expected the likes of what happened to them. The kids led the community in worship on two separate occasions - once in music on the 16th and then again on the 24th at our family Christmas Eve service. I'm blessed to have such dedicated men and women who helped to make the Bethlehem Village experience a success on the 23rd as well. We had a number of friends brought to church by our kids, and I heard many positive things from parents as well as the kids.

I celebrated Christmas with my extended family for the first time in what must be at least ten years yesterday evening. My cousins children are now grown, home and business owners and doing very well for themselves. It was great to sit back and listen to what is happening in their world. And a bit strange at the same time to realize how differently my life has turned out than I ever expected. I never saw myself preparing to enter full time pastoral ministry but that is what I am doing. I never thought that I would have the opportunity to share and teach God's word to others, yet today I am preparing to preach this Sunday (and yes I know all the jokes about "Black Sunday" and preachers!) What started out as a year that wondered where my next zip code would be has ended in on a positive note. I've been living out our Advent message of expecting the unexpected this entire year. Spirituality, Christianity in particular is a journey, not a destination. It's something that is worked out in the inner parts of our being throughout our entire life journey and really doesn't become recognized fully until that moment when we exhale in this world and inhale in the next. Yet for me, the highlight of the day was having the opportunity to connect with a dear friend in a real, authentic conversation last night.

Yet all that said, I am glad that it is December 26th. It's nice to have a day where I am not having to focus on the madness that comes with a holiday like Christmas. Granted, I know that much of this 'post bah-humbug' is because I am not particularly fond of the Christmas season to begin with; yet I find for me the challenge is trying to carve time out for myself to find a way to prepare my own life and heart for what is happening. I'd have to rate myself a B- this Advent season which is a vast improvement over the past two Advents in Oregon where I was so out of my comfort zone. The added busyness of the time pushed my 'saying no' boundaries to the breaking point and I found myself more often than not putting myself on the bottom of the "take care of" list and basically neglecting myself too often. Today is being spent reading at a cafe sipping a great latte overlooking the SF skyline. Tonight it's working out at the gym and then coming home to a quiet of a candles and good music. The holiday season is over thank goodness - the challenge is taking the meaning of Christmas with me throughout the coming year.

The Unveiling

2007-12-14T12:36:00.000-08:00

"and the word became flesh and dwelt among us."

It never fails. Each Advent I get stuck on this verse more than any other passage of Scripture that I reflect on. Why would the Creator of the Universe want to identify with humanity on such a level? I haven't the foggiest idea. It reminds me of my theology and Christology classes at Fuller, when we would get to the concept and thoughts on kenosis - God/Jesus emptying himself as he became man. The more I would read or reflect on the words, the more I find myself asking what I am sure is the million dollar question - Why?"

I wonder what it was like for Mary and Joseph, to watch their child begin to grasp the reality of who he was. When was that point when Jesus understood that he was "different" than others? When his destiny would never equal those of his peers, his family? How does one parent the Son of God? Amazing seems to be the emotion that I am experiencing this Advent season. Amazed at what God did by interrupting space and time to manifest as a child. Amazed at individuals such as Zachariah, Joseph, Mary and Elizabeth as they realized that God was stretching them beyond their wildest ideas and beliefs - forcing them to see and experience God on a level that others could never imagine. Amazed that in the midst of merchandising, Christmas specials, secularization and whatnot, the manger is still the focus of what this season is all about.

May your advent be one of amazement also.

I'm Stoked!

2007-10-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited! I just got a ticket to Walking with the Dinosaurs in San Jose, CA!

Here's a video that captures some of the excitement!

"You Can Come to My Birthday Party"

2007-10-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

Building Bridges was an incredible experience. I have never seen a group of people (both volunteer staff and our teams) work so well together and so hard. We sent out over 150 individuals throughout the San Ramon Valley to do everything from clearing trails, painting ball walls and cleaning yards to staying behind and packing care packages for troops in Iraq/Afghanistan and making lunches/cooking dinner here at church. This is a HUGE deal I discovered throughout the day. The logistics were amazing. The planning goes beyond what I was seeing/listening as we met throughout the summer and into the Fall. It really is true that you have to witness something sometimes to get a good perspective on what it really takes to pull off an event such as this successfully. There were some great moments out of the weekend. Our children had their own program at church while their parents were out serving. Our project was drawing/designing Christmas cards for the troops. And they were precious. We narrated the cards with what the children wanted to say to them. Before we had them get working on the cards we took them to the staging area where the boxes were packed, had them see some pictures of soldier whose mom's are part of the Blue Star Moms and showed them where their cards were going. It really helped I think for them to see what they were doing. Too often kids (and adults) do things in a vacuum never really understanding where their contribution fits into the entire picture. The comments/thoughts of the kids were precious. The Blue Star Moms were sharing that one of the ones that touched their hears was "You can come to my birthday party." Talk about pulling on heart strings. To a child celebrating is a part of life - and what a better wish to send to an individual in the line of fire than a prayer that they could come and celebrate life with them back stateside. It is beyond words.

We ended the weekend Sunday with a celebration service at church. The middle of the church was given tables for people to sit around and chairs were still available for those not at tables. A member of our community is currently in hospital and a giant hot pink card was passed from person to person being signed for them. There were such demonstrations of love from each of these people. You can tell how much this person-who is such a dynamic part of the community-is truly missed and cared for.

I have to say from a personal perspective, that I really think we need to consider as individuals who plan what a worship experience looks like - ways to encourage community and relationship building within church services. So much of what we do on Sunday mornings is relegated to an individualistic experience. It takes a great amount of intentionality to incorporate people communicating and talking with each other, hearing about their spiritual journeys into a worship service. What a gift we would be giving each of us if we could be vulnerable and open to both the Spirit and each other in the context of a worship experience? Coffee Hour after service just isn't the same. I saw something happen when the tables were set down. When people shared their experiences. When children and families and small groups were sitting around those tables in prayer and worship together. It was an entirely different atmosphere that rose up and took over. It was celebration, which is what we are exhorted to do throughout the pages of Scripture. What an invitation that could be - to invite people whose lives are really unknown to all but the Creator to celebrate, just as one of our children invited a soldier to their celebration. What kind of an impact could that have in the life of a church?

And you thought you've carved big pumpkins!

2007-10-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics that I snapped last weekend at the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin festival. I remember going to this when I was a kid and just loving the experience. A few weeks ago I saw a documentary on "Giant Pumpkin Growing Contests" on PBS which totally fascinated me. I guess that is what you get when you watch PBS when you are bored on a Sunday afternoon. Anyway, it made me remember about the Pumpkin Festival and the fact that they were having the weigh in contest for the great pumpkin the monday before the festival began. I didn't make it to the weigh in on my day off but I sure did have fun on that Saturday!

As usual, there was traffic congestion on the freeway out there. However what is normally around a 45 minute to an hour trip took over 2.5 hours to get there.

The scenery was beautiful - look at how the huge trees create such a canopy to drive under. We had three days of rain which for Northern California is a lot at one time at this point in the season. Yet Friday evening the skies began to clear up and the weekend was incredibly beautiful and warm. Didn't even need a jacket at the coast as I thought I would.

Almost there - the longest 2 miles that I remember.

The pumpkin fields and stands begin to show up just outside of Half Moon Bay. Boy where they festive!

Here are some pictures of the "great" pumpkin that came in at 1543 pounds and this guy who carves two giant pumpkins each year at the festival. This is the one that he was nearly done with as of 2 p.m. on Saturday.

Missional Mazes

2007-10-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend is "Building Bridges" at the church where I work. It's premise is simple - do the most you can to those who ask for assistance. Be their friend. Be their assistance. Be Jesus to them. We're celebrating our 5th year of Building Bridges and let me tell you, it is one incredible project. My first meeting was literally the first Sunday that I came to work - mid May. Since then we've had numerous discussions, seen a major corporation sponsor via a grant this years' endeavor and watched as the projects have rolled in. It appears that this year our projects range from clearing trails in the local East Bay Regional parks, to painting at local elementary schools, installing new smoke alarms for seniors, and doing the tasks of cleaning out over-crowded homes and over-grown yards.

The weekend begins on Friday with a time of worship and going through the next day's activities. Saturday work day begins with breakfast, teams gathering at the church and then going out to their assigned projects with lunches either going with them or teams coming back to eat before moving onto another home. Saturday night is a celebration dinner and Sunday morning the entire church gathers together to process through the experience. I found out last week that this means our children will be in service as well - we have approximately 30 children who will be with their families directly serving their community and another 4-10 staying here at church doing their own service project!

This experience has led me to consider what it means to be a missional people in a post-Christian world. Anyone can be a part of a community event and there are plenty of them. Runs/races for cancer, HIV/Aids, homelessness. Marches to show solidarity for our troops, against the current Iraqi occupation, human rights. Telethons to assist natural disasters, terrorist tragedies. Picnics, festivals, parties to celebrate heritage, seasons, community life all abound. What makes what we who are Christ followers different?

I think it is community. I talk on or about this alot, probably nauseating some people who know me. Some would hypothesize that my discussion of this topic is a glaring demonstration of my need for community. At first I was offended by this comment and yet realized that they are right. I am in need of community. I am in need of a group of individuals who know me, accept me for my limitations and my gifts. Who will laugh and encourage, cry and exhort. I need a community who will kick back and watch LOST or Ugly Betty with me, cry when the Giants again miss the playoffs or cheer when USC is beaten by anybody - especially UCLA!

The reality is that we all are in need of a community. When the church is firing on all cylinders this is what we do best-we connect people to others and to God through relationships. In the past missional approaches from churches seemed to follow a traditional formula of offering a program, a speaker, an event and having individuals come to the church. Or perhaps the traditional visitation appointment. These may still work in certain cultures or geographical locations but the reality is that we must cast out a larger net in today's world. And we need to use different bait.

For Children's Ministry this means thinking outside of the box. It means that I spend time at the schools where my kids attend. At last count that is 14 schools throughout the year. I am doing yard duty or reading groups at 2 elementary schools which the majority of our kids attend. We send "thank you" baskets at Christmas to the teachers of our children's schools in appreciation of what they do for the children of our community.

It means expanding our families' horizons. And their comfort zones. In the future we will be going to homeless shelters as families and serving meals or passing out backpacks and clothes throughout the year. It means having desserts for parents only where you can relax and enjoy the company of other parents while honing your relationship with your spouse - after all family ministry begins with parents. Sports clinics such as baseball/softball, rock climbing and soccer are on the calendar for this year. And going out to local tournaments to pass out water or snack bars donating back the funds raised to community sporting events. These are ways over the next two years that we hope to make a broader impact in our community.

Will all of these cause large impacts in our community. More than likely not. Each one will cause a ripple that moves out from the center further into the community than we would experience if we stayed behind the stucco walls of our building. Yet the goal in all of this is not to boost numbers on the church roll. It's not to tell others about our church. It's to invite people into a community and into relationship with individuals who daily try to live an authentic life. It's an invitation to be the individual that God has created us to be when we are truly authentic.

It will take teaching. And sharing the vision and God's passion about building into our children and community the reality of Micah 6:8. And along the way we will continue to move towards being more creative in maneuvering the missional maze.

Welcome to the Ministry!

2007-10-04T10:39:00.000-07:00

To a dear friend who just started her first "official" week as Children's Ministries Director at her church -

Congratulations and God's Best! I know that you will do well in your ministry, and see God's hands in this adventure.

Buckle your seat belts - it's going to be a great ride!

Catching Up...

2007-09-25T11:47:00.001-07:00

I looked at the calendar this morning and it said "October 4th." What happened to the rest of September? And ack - someone the other day said that there were only 86 days until Christmas? NOOOOO - you can't do that to me yet! These are the days and months that I personally wish that God might stretch out time a bit like oh I don't know the sun stopping for Joshua perhaps?

The past two weeks have been incredibly productive. With the school year kick off done, and some leadership and management skills in place that I've been focusing on this summer I'm finding that I have moved into a predictable, orderly pattern of ministry once again. Here are some highlights of the past two weeks:

The entire church staff collectively used our Monday day off to come in and work on areas of the church that we normally don't get to. My friend/coworker Tina and I worked on the resource room - boxing up about 3 years of curriculum and storing it freeing nearly two lateral file cabinets for materials. We now have a resource room for teachers and children's ministry staff that is being filled with things like props, musicals/videos/DVDs/tapes, books, games and extra toys and art materials. And there is room for future growth. Complete with a table and other things we have a place where people can come in, browse, read without having things fall on them. We also were able to pull together the larger storage closet later in the week. I am amazed at what we own in the ministry! Enough materials to dress plenty of kids in biblical costumes and Christmas programs, extra materials from parties, VBS' etc. that are wonderful. Sports equipment like high quality tumbling mats, plenty of ball pit balls, carnival items etc.

I finished the recruiting for the Fall this week and will be filling up the last holes by tomorrow it looks like. Yeah God! This week I'm ordering curriculum for the winter and beginning to get that ready for my prep teams even earlier than before! I ordered our Christmas Sunday special curriculum for Sunday School - we're doing "Bethlehem Village" and will be gathering the event team to start working on that as well!

The nursery is up and running - we were this close to having closed circuit television for the services in the room and found out when we moved the tv from the toddler/2's space to the nursery 4 feet killed the reception so a tech guru from church is working on the problem. This week we had 3 babies in the room so mom's are slowly working at becoming comfortable with letting the babies go during service.

This week is "Crazy Hair Day" at church. We're celebrating how we are uniquely created by God and wearing our hair in a wide variety of ways - also a great excitement and community building event with little outlay. I think I spent $6 bucks on hair goo and stuff. The preschool through 3rd grade are coming with their hair decked out and the 4th/5th graders are doing their hair (and mine!) in class.

WoW begins again this Sunday after a two month hiatus and we're looking forward to it! The team has expanded by 2 people and I can't wait to see what God does this year.

God has brought a group of people forward who want to resurrect Bible Quiz Bowl and some sort of music for the children on a more regular basis. I'm so blessed that everytime I begin to pray for an individual for a ministry, someone shares their passion and we connect them into ministry! THIS is the lesson that I learned from past experiences and now that I have built some more intentionality and focus through mentoring experiences I am seeing the fruit begin to blossom on the vine. It's a blessing - I know that it will pay off in the long run for this ministry.

Last week was a swim party for our tween group Zoom Zone - we had a patch of really cold (by No Cal standards) couple of weeks and temps dipped into the low 70's with a day or so of rain - what my Texas friend would call "spitting" but rain for Californians. I told the kids they better start praying and they did, congratulating themselves and God on pulling a warming trend with near 90 degree weather last week letting the swim party go forward! We have a small group of kids so the numbers we had were a good sign - about a 40% class turnout of kids who didn't have practices or games. Tonight is our first monthly meeting "Game Night." We start with dinner for the first hour (tonight is "spaghetti a la MJ" ) and then will be doing group games such as Human Bowling, Cookie Monster (eating oreo's off of an upright surface), blanket races, cup stacking introduction. We'll end with a devotional that I haven't finished yet so no posting until then! I received an email from a parent this morning as follows:

Jeanette,
Well, you have done a great job of promoting Zoom Zone, because ____ was distraught at the thought of not attending this month's meeting. We've agreed to give him a "pass" on soccer practice and allow him to be there. That level of motivation to attend a church function should be rewarded!

Nice email to come into the office to I might add!

And finally, we're focusing on raising more awareness on our missions projects. We're raising $250 by Christmas to purchase livestock (goats) for Macedonian Outreach and then a quarter towards Heifer project (chicken and bees) and finally the last quarter towards water for a well - a new development per a connection I found out about yesterday. In three weeks the children have purchased one goat and are about 12.00 shy of a second one. It's rewarding to see them once again excited about this and having a growing understanding about tithing.

Well, that's it for now. Pics of the pool party and crazy hair day coming!

Presenting...

2007-08-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

After much listening with members of our community, God blessed Children's Ministries with a great theme for the year "The BIG House." We're using the Audio Adreneline song "BIG House" for our year theme. Back in June, I had a chance to watch our kids sing this in our WoW (Wonders of Worship) experience. They really had a blast and it put this song in a new perspective for me. I had honestly just listed it prior to this experience as one of the many "tired songs that you are stuck singing in youth groups."

Here is a small 1:16 presentation that we're using in church this weekend.

Lessons in Leadership - the process continues

2007-08-23T11:52:00.001-07:00

So okay, this morning I rolled over in bed(yes I know, there's an image you may not want to envision)and realized that our kids return back to school this coming Monday. I'm not sure how things have been in your ministry world, but in mine the summer has flown by with break neck speed.

It's been a continuing process for me with regards to developing leadership skills. I had always been told that I demonstrated good leadership in past projects, I turned a corner with regards to leadership in a church or ministry setting during this season of my life. Leadership, I am beginning to understand, has more to do with the character and nature of the individual rather than the project timeline. I have struggled in how to lead without appearing to be "bossy", a term used to describe my leadership style from a Field Education experience I had. I struggled with trying to understand the subtle and not so stubtle differences by starting with a simple definition of what bossy is. Dictionary.com puts it like this:

boss·y1
–adjective, boss·i·er, boss·i·est. given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering.

then of course, there was my favorite -

bos·sy3
–noun, plural -sies. a familiar name for a cow or calf.

and the one that just plain made me sick to my stomach after reading -

bossy
-adjective
offensively self-assured or given to exercising usually unwarranted power; "an autocratic person"; "autocratic behavior"; "a bossy way of ordering others around"; "a rather aggressive and dominating character"; "managed the employees in an aloof magisterial way"; "a swaggering peremptory manner" [syn: autocratic]*

Sucker punch to the gut. There are aspects of what I have previously identified as leading in these definitions - the cow one aside. I'm being stretched by God in this area. What I have seen differently in myself over the past few months is that I am walking in confidence; I'm becoming more comfortable in my own skin and that I really think is having an impact how I come across with others.

The more comfortable I become, I am able to listen to what others are sharing. When they are invited to join a team, it's because they are valued and cared for. I'm not babysitting individuals like I have felt I needed to in the past. When I touch bases I know that people have been working on projects and will be ready. And when you are part of a ministry team that is committed to working with kids because it is a value they all share - it's exciting to see what develops.

The summer has been key for me in this area. I've spent more time on relationship building than needing to extinguish fires which is wonderful. The ministry schedule is approximately 60-75% filled. Our WoW (Wonders of Worship) team leader just called and I shared with her the themes for curriculum this quarter and I'm looking forward to seeing how they integrate those plus our overall ministry theme this year. Kick off Sunday teams are starting to get things in place and there is a sense of positive anticipation. Here is a sample of what is taking place in our Children's Ministry.

The "BIG House" is our theme for the coming year. Our scriptural key is John 14:2-4 which is Jesus' last discourse, sharing on how we know the way to the Father, that Jesus doesn't abandon us but is with us always. Things have been in transition in this community for a season, and there is a hope that as we move forward in the selection of a Senior Pastor, there will be new focus and energy in envisioning what God is ready to do in and through us. It's a time to build on the foundation of God's word that has been laid in our children's hearts and ministry and enter into a period of planned expectation. And - from a family ministry/outreach perspective, laying a foundation on which our children will build their ethical/moral structures upon is a highly valued commodity in the San Ramon Valley community at large.

What's valuable in this season of development is recognizing the fruit that is happening, even if it is small at this point in time. When I share it's not out of desperation to "get" individuals to be a part of this ministry. It's to share the excitement and joy that is happening and ready to take place in the ministry. That joy is contagious.

*from Wordnet as found on www.dictionary.com

What a wonderful world!

2007-08-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

GREAT Shadow Puppetry - For more of the funniest videos, click here

I was tipped off about this video from a blog post on Kidology.org. I am always amazed at the many ways people share God's creative talents with individuals. This happens to be a favorite song of mine and the images are simply amazing.

Hope you enjoyed the 2 minute break as much as I did when I first viewed this clip!

756...Staff Devotions and Romans 12

2007-08-08T16:12:00.000-07:00

Wow is all I can say. The crowd cheering, the crack of the bat, the absolute anticipation of witnessing that ball going out of the park and into the stands. Finally we have the record broken.

I was not quite 11 when Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's record. I still remember my dad and I rivited to the TV waiting for that moment to happen. Now all "grown up" I still had that same moment of child like excitement last night when you realized that a previous record was shattered. It will be interesting to watch if A-Rod can make 757 before his retirement which I hope won't be anytime in the near future.The City is celebrating!

I wonder if we find time to celebrate the milestones in our lives - the ones where we recognize that God has been at work in our lives and we're just now experiencing that a-ha moment when we recognize something is changing within us. Celebrating the milestones in our lives both individually and as a community are important. They allow us to see where God has been at work in our lives; providing us with a reality-check of sorts where we can see that we are truly being transformed. This morning in staff meeting we shared on Romans 12 and the idea that Spirit is constantly at work in our lives transforming us not so we can sit back and applaud our change but to live out that transformation in the world about us. It's in the giving out that we discover where God is checking us.

And a little child shall lead them....

2007-08-04T18:46:00.000-07:00

Plant the word deep in their hearts as children - and the future generation will reap a rich harvest!

It takes a village - especially to do VBS!

2007-08-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

It's 2:45 p.m. The halls are strangely quiet. Avalanche Ranch has just ended and already the classrooms, sanctuary and halls are stripped and back to their normal look. I know many of us roll our eyes when we hear the proverb that it takes a village to raise a child but for outreaches such as this it really does. There were so many people roaming the halls and rooms this past week - and each person was indispensible coming at the precise moment. From nursery/toddlers who marched around their tables, preschoolers in awe as they recreated stories of Jericho, Naaman and all, elementary kids marching to their own created cadences it was a sight to see!

We had our ice cream social last evening and had the wonderful opportunity to hear stories from families who are not a regular part of our SRPC family. The stories they shared about how their kids loved and looked forward to each morning were gratifying. And the most wonderful words that I heard were from a parent, "I think we'll be coming to visit your church soon."

It's a hard job putting together VBS. I've struggled in the past with one, and been a part of teams that were phenomenal such as this years team. And even as Ministers to Children we wonder if there is a better way to reach our children with the message of Jesus' love for each of them, the value of VBS does become apparant.

You'll find below a Digital Postcard that all our VBS team received in addition to encouragement and notes home. Hope you enjoy it.

VBS down, now back to our Fall Kick Off program!

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

The Making of Community...

2007-07-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday morning. I'm sitting at my desk having just read through emails and phone messages, getting ready to start another week. The past weekend at church was one of those gifts - I'm sure we can all relate to them. It was a collection of moments when you realize how God is moving in and through things when you weren't sure what was happening.

This past weekend at worship, I was with the preschooler's in class. In the two and a half months that I have been here, this is the first time that I have had to step in and teach - one of our mom's children came down with an ear infection and had to stay home. This class is hysterically funny! Most preschool classes that I have had since 2001 have been boy heavy and we are the opposite here. Two boys and six girls this morning. A light class with four missing on summer vacation.

The curriculum this month has been on Daniel and following after God. (We're currently using Standard Publishing's Heart Shaper curriculum). This week - the ever exciting "Daniel and the Lion's Den." So together we built little "animal" homes, and explained them to each other, played a very loose game of Lion, Lion, Lion (think Duck Duck Goose) with the reminder that 4's don't always remember that you run around the circle - they were weaving in and out and having the best time.

When we were talking and sharing about the story, a comment came from one of the kids about God being faithful. His family has a strong missionary background and they have the great experience of living on a houseboat. He was sharing that every time it rains he doesn't get scared because God was in the boat with him! And Daniel knew the same thing. Okay, he didn't express it exactly that way, but paraphrasing it into adult-speak makes you realize that the philosophy of Christian Educators such as Maria Cavelleti is spot on. Children Caveletti would proprose, have an internal sense and knowing of God that only needs to be given the vocabulary to express. They already know God, they don't need to be convinced. They need to be supported as they find the labels that match their experience.

Sunday afternoon our congregation had a Tailgate Party. BBQ's and grills lined up the parking lot, a small instrumental section played great music and I watched community unfold. We were showing "Cars" that night in the church (on two screens no less!) and so for a children's activity we had a "pit stop" where kids painted small Oriental Trading Company wooden cars and then moved them to the "Show Room" where several High School members voted. One mom and her kids baked and iced dozens of car cookies (I need to get pics up here as soon as a friend has them downloaded) which were out of this world!

I sat back and watched people enjoy themselves, connect with each other. The Chinese Church which rents our space joined us and their kids mingled with ours. Food was shared, laughter heard. Kids ran around and later collapsed in the church exhausted. What I saw this weekend was a picture of a community that is gaining its second wind and getting ready for the next adventure that God is prepping us for.

What Do We Do With The Kids?

2007-07-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

I strongly believe that community-especially a community of faith needs to incorporate all members. I don't think that many individuals or bodies would argue with that statement. But where we do wind up having differences in opinions, structuring worship opportunities and whatnot is when we delve into the question of how do we incorporate children into worship?

It seems that there have been in the past two or three distinctly different schools of thought with regards to this question.

Group One Provides children with their own Sunday School time which runs concurrently with a worship service. Children are not a part of the larger community. A distinction is made between "adult" and "children's" worship.

Group Two Has children involved and a part of the entire service. Coloring pages, books might be provided in the back, "cry rooms" are available for younger children who need to move about or parents with infants/toddlers. Children are brought along with parents during pivotal moments in the service such as Eucharist/Lord's Supper, prayer etc. Spiritual formation for children occurs at another time outside of the main service.

Group Three Is a hybrid of the first two groups. Children are involved in either the front or back end of the service. Spiritual formation happens for a smaller amount of time than in a traditional Sunday School experience.

I have always had a belief that emphasized the inclusion of children in worship, which I am certain had roots in my body being in a pew each Sunday as a child. As I went to a Christian School, my Sunday School happened Monday - Friday not on the weekends like my friends who went to CCD on Saturdays. I remember being awed by the "largeness" of what I saw and yet really had no clue as to what was happening or its relevance.

When I began to attend a church that I interned at, I was suddenly brought face to face with my hypocrisy regarding this great "idea" that kids should be in worship. At this particular church, children went to Children's Chapel (think Kid's Church) for the first half of the service (through the sermon) and then returned to the main Sanctuary for Eucharist and closing liturgy. "Great!" I thought.

That excitement lasted oh about .03 seconds. The kids came in with a thunderous noise. One set of twins were climbing the pews, running their toy cars along the top of the old wooden seats. Another child was providing a running commentary, others were voicing their displeasure at having to be in church and not on the playground. Meanwhile I was attempting to having a meditative moment with the Creator and these rug rats were interfering in my...

One day children were brought to Jesus in the hope that he would lay hands on them and pray over them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus intervened: "Let the children alone, don't prevent them from coming to me. God's kingdom is made up of people like these."

So what do we do with the kids? It is important for our children to know and experience worship within the larger community for a number of reasons, one of the most tangible being the reinforcement that they are a part of a people of faith. And it is true that unless your congregation specifically designs a regular worship service that incorporates family friendly aspects into it there will be a struggle for children's focus and attention. If we are not providing or expecting parents to return during the week for their children's religious education, when do we provide it if the kids are in service? Especially when statistics show that many families do not stay or participate in a Sunday School hour and then worship.

Here's a thought I'd like to throw out. Perhaps we're looking at the question backwards. We might be dealing with the question of how we include children in worship when what we might need to be considering is a redefinition of what worship is - within the context of community and specifically within the context of teaching our children to be worshippers.

I've recently handed over a copy of Teaching Children Authentic Worship to an individual in our church who shared with me their passion to teach our children how to worship. While this conversation in the larger context had to do with the possibility of resurrecting a children's choir which we haven't had in many years, it was the perfect opportunity to share some ideas on how we can go about fostering a spirit of worship in our children which includes opportunities such as a choir, Communion Sunday WoW Experiences and time in service weekly.

I'm going to be rereading the book over the next few weeks and will attempt to turn out key chapter points, posting them here before the end of August. Until then - I'm looking forward to hearing/reading your thoughts regarding this question.

2007-07-10T12:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy few weeks. I will have been a part of this new community for 2 months on the 15th and they have been incredibly blessed.

VBS has been grinding out since before I came aboard. We have two of the most talented and gifted women chairing it this year. So far we're pushing close to 100 children with a good portion coming from the community. I'm heading up the preschool program and have 6 adults and a couple of youth coming in to help with the action. This past weekend we had our large "donation/borrow" wall hanging up with all the items we hope would be donated so our costs will be reduced. As of Sunday afternoon when I left church we had all but 16 slips responded to. Posters are being painted, bigger donated items are coming in. Creekside Community Church and St. Joan of Arc have graciously offered to share props and sets with us. You see - THIS is how the Body should be working together!

TAILGATE Next Sunday night we're having a tailgating party complete with a screening of Disney's Cars. Children's Ministries is setting up a painting table where kids can paint a wooden car and then enter it into a mini "car show" where they will all get ribbons. People are very excited about it and we're expecting a great turn out of families.

SUMMER SUNDAYS Summer continues to crank out - we're completely covered for the summer staff and met the goal that I had set of having the last space filled by then end of June! June 27 was the day that I penciled in the final person.

FALL PLANS It's July and I am well into planning for the Fall. Thankfully the individuals who were watching over the fort prior to my arrival left an incredibly detailed calendar of what they hoped they would do for the year and when to start things. I'm taking a look at the calendar and trying to see how everything will fit together. In the meantime, I'm already getting individuals signed up for Fall teaching spots. Our new Parent Round Table will be meeting on August 26th for the first time and I am praying that we'll get a wonderful response from individuals specifically with regards to the curriculum review group. There's an entire post coming later this week in regards to curriculum....

WEBSITE I've never worked on content in a website before, and recently took a stab at the very basic forms of WYSIWYG web update. You can check it out at www.srpc.org look for the children's ministries pages. There's much more that I want to do with regards to the pages - really redesign the entire look of them but that will take an incredible amount of time and some talented IT people to make it happen. But for right now, the pages are updated and added to and I am receiving some great feedback already on the look which proves that people do look at church websites! I've begun posting the class summaries as well on the page - updating them weekly so parents can encourage friends to check out what we're teaching and also possibly refer back to it for conversations during the week.

MISSIONS My heart is being drawn to helping the children this coming year connect with the world around them. This community is incredibly missions focused and that is a blessing in disguise. This summer we are having missionaries visit our classes and share with the kids about life in their parts of the world through games, stories, slides and food. Our next missionary family is coming this Sunday to share. Our offerings for children's ministries are abysmal, so this coming Fall we're kicking off a year long project to raise money for animals through Macedonian Outreach and also Heifer Project. I'm knocking around how we can incorporate Old MacDonald's Farm or better yet Noah's Ark (Acts of Random Kindness) from Evan Almighty to get kids involved. If anyone has some ideas of song's we can parody for either (especially Noah) I'd love to hear from you especially if you have lyrics!

On the personal side of things - the townhouse is coming together nicely! Boxes are getting unpacked with all the kitchen stuff and I'm getting to know the area. This past weekend Diva was washed at the new Pet Food Express which opened up and when I asked the Manager about Dog Parks nearby she came back with two pages of local dog parks. Checked out one this past weekend, will go to another later this week. Diva is enjoying the idea of a dog park, she's never really been to one before so it is a new thing.

The 4th of July my roomie and I went to the Danville Parade. It is a BIG thing out here. Tradition is you set out your chairs the night before after 6 p.m. We got there at 8 and found most of the streets were already lined up with chairs and I mean lined up! Roped off, duct taped to the cement, rows and rows of chairs I think it would be easy to say there were at least 200-300 set up already. We set ours up and believe it or not they were there the next day! Yep I do live in Mayberry again. I thought Manhattan Beach was the only Mayberry but I was wrong. The parade was cute and loooong. I did manage to get a little brown which for me really means I'm a darker shade of white than previously with more freckles. And that was with sunscreen. This weekend is the Shakespeare Festival.

Well got to get back to work - the All Star Game is on at 5 p.m. and I must be home to watch the action from our very own AT&T Park!

Yeah Baby!!

2007-06-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

THE DUCKS WIN THE STANLEY CUP!
THE DUCKS WIN THE STANLEY CUP!
THE DUCKS WIN THE STANLEY CUP!

And they said it only happened in Disney movies....

I tried to load a photo but blogger is not playing well with others. My favorite photo to come soon - hey you know who in Orange County - I want some confetti from the ceremony on Saturday!!!!

The first Californian team to ever win a Stanley Cup - gee I remember when they first were hatched in 1993 when I first moved to Southern California and some friends and I lived in the same complex as a couple of the little ducklings. My how time flies!

Okay LA Kings - what's up with you all?

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2007-06-06T17:52:00.000-07:00

Jericho has been renewed for a mid-season replacement! After an incredible "bring em back" campaign waged by the viewers of Jericho (a series based on the premise of what life would be like after the detonation of multiple nuclear bombs within the continental USA through the eyes of people living in Jericho, KS) bombarded CBS Execs with peanuts which was a tag line in the season finale episode uttered by Gerald McRaney prior to his untimely death in the ending moments of the ep. People decided to send bags of peanuts to CBS in protest of pulling the series off after what appeared to be an incredible cliff hanger episode. This afternoon CBS has announced that it will be bringing Jericho back for at least 7 eps and possibly more, looking at ways to enlarge the fanbase through the release of the first season on DVD to rerunning the series this summer. That could work, it was how I got into LOST during the first season.

There aren't too many series that I drop everything for, or TiVo regularly - but Jericho and LOST are the two that are "must watch" with UGLY BETTY running a close third. Kudos to the fans for keeping this one alive. Keep your word CBS...there are more peanuts waiting to be sent if need be.

Be Still and Know

2007-06-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

It's finals week, and I am like most of my Fuller friends and acquaintances trying to pull everything together for classes. I have one paper down and still have another 10 page paper, 2 books yet to read and 3 reflections (1 page each). Thankfully this quarter no take home exams. Ministry wise this is a good week for finals to happen (did I just say that?) as there is not too much on the pressing items calendar so that is good. What is on the calendar is in the hands of trusted and responsible individuals.

I am so incredibly blessed to have met such wonderful individuals in the congregations that I have been a part of who understand that ministry is an outgrowth of the generousity and grace we have received from God. In their big and small ways they make their invaluable gift of service to their congregations.

Jan runs the Foodbank at a church in California. Each week she sees that the bags of food are put together, individuals have been coordinated to distribute, pick up food, bread etc. for over 50 families in the parish's region. She's been doing this for many many years.

Danny and Amanda were introduced to me this past year, both new to the community that I just left. Almost immediately they began to be greeters and ushers. You are in for a treat each week when you are welcomed graciously and enthusiastically by them. Tracy and Kathy, Anne and Dave, and others weekly share their gift of hospitality with visitors and regular attenders as well.

Delores and her team see to it that there is coffee, cookies, hot chocolate and assorted other things to help draw people closer into community after service.

Here at my new community, Nancy, Joyce, Chris and countless others who I do not all know yet - but you all know who they are!!! pour into the lives of our little ones each week. The children know and love each of you and when you are there in the classrooms they shine because they know that you are there just for them, not to only fill a spot.

Vince, Michelle, Cathy, Kendra, Vincent, Penny, Nan, Chris, Michelle, Tara, Lisa, Vicki, Pam, Linda, Janie, Morgan, Mary and many many many more have spent years sharing their love with children in the suburbs of Oregon. Anne, Karen, and their team created a mid week program that reinforced throughout the week God's love to our children. I know God will bring the right person for your community soon. Thanks for what you have done in the process, and for all the people who work with you in the ministry.

Each week as Ministers to Children we're faced with making sure that there are enough spaces filled with capable and caring individuals. We are checking and doublechecking all the rooms for safety needs and supplies, recruiting individuals for future classroom needs, matching gifts with needs and listening, loving and caring for those little lambs and their families that God has placed in our world. Sometimes you here more of what is going wrong than good according to an email I recently received from a fellow minister; sometimes the ministry you lead is not considered as pressing if the church is smaller; or you are finding it more difficult to keep up your work while tending to the needs of your own family, spouse and children. Then there are times when you are incredibly grateful as you look around as see the fruit of labor, love and tears that have been planted over the years finally bearing fruit. For all of those who are in ministry to children as the year winds down and summer begins - I share these words of encouragement.

Be Still and Know that I AM God.
Be Still and Know that I AM.
Be Still and Know.
Be Still.
Be.

WOW It's was WoW weekend!

2007-06-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Time is flying by. I can't believe that I have just finished my third Sunday at my new church. SF Bay Area weather and life agree with me - there is just so much time and so little to do...wait, as Willie Wonka would say, "Strike that, reverse it."

I am now in my third week without any rain. Of course, I think Oregon has gone without rain for oh I don't know 3 weeks too so it may not be a fair thing to say. I spent last weekend in the City, going to see a play "Dead Certain" at the Off Market Theater. Think Misery with Kathy Bates as a parapalegic playwrite and you basically have the plot - minus James Caan being hurt in a car accident. But for free tickets who is going to complain? If you're ever looking for great opportunities you can check out www.goldstarevents.com type in your zip codes and weekly you'll get a list of what is happening in your neck of the woods.

Our summer curriculum started this morning, "Journey with Jesus." The decorating team for Children's Ministries was busy this week setting up 2 out of the 3 rooms in as close to Middle Eastern fashion as we could using what materials we have stored away - which is a LOT! This next week we'll be adding banners down the hallways and the big fishing boat scene in front of the room where the games will be played. The curriculum chosen was a rotational style - after worship the kids start off in one room for 20 minutes, then rotate through the other two at 20 minute intervals. We have "Samuel's House" which is where the lesson/story is presented by our Village Storyteller in costume of course...move to the Marketplace where games are played and lesson reinforced more and then to Bethlehem Village where crafts are created. Our missions fundraiser for the summer will be to purchase a goat to send to Macedonian Outreach which is connected to our church and other local churches here in the San Ramon Valley - think heifer project and you'll get one small slice of what MO does.

The first Sunday of every month is WoW Sunday. We have an AWESOME team of people that lead the kids in their own worship, a skit and discussion. The kids all start the first Sunday in the Youth Room and then move up to class so they have their own worship together at least once a month for the purposes/goal of community building. It's a wonderful balance having the kids in worship each Sunday and their own worship monthly. We juggled this Sunday with the schedule because when the calendar was planned a couple of months ago the decision hadn't been made to keep WoW going during the summer - the folks that run it didn't want to stop! Talk about dedication and love for the kids!!! Several of our kids were involved in a dance program this past quarter called "Dancing Graces" and they premiered their first dance in public worship this morning. 2 first graders and 2 fourth graders (one a guy - go dawg!) Using "soldiers" by Out of Eden they shared 4 minutes of movement and dance with the congregation. The congregation encouraged the kids from the moment they hit the floor/platform with cheers and instant clapping - our kids dancing in the back to the beat of the music. It fueled the kids energy they told me afterwards. At one point in the middle - around the bridge, the music slows completely down and the kids came from the four corners of the church to the front of the altar lifting their hands in praise slowly. Then, each of them in succession joined the first dancer in a choreographed movement. It was a beautiful opportunity to focus attention on the Lord's Supper and draw back into worship any focus that might have been straying. The song ended to a stampede of applause and support for the kids and their choreographer Ms. Jenny who did an outstanding job. I'm hoping that we might be able to get some more kids to join the group and premiere their first worship offering for our 10th anniversary service in mid September.

Summer schedule is nearly staffed. I made oodles of calls this past week and had only 2 individuals say they couldn't because one is moving and the other has a family member that is in poor health. VBS is doing awesome - I'm going to focus on the preschool and we have our final teachers all lined up for our program already. Elementary is about 3/4's staffed. Our meeting a week ago had 1 7 people (all leaders) attending which was the first BIG VBS meeting of the season. I have the distinct honor and privilege to add these individuals to the many additional people I knew in OR and So CA who have tirelessly dedicated themselves to the spiritual nurture of children. I have been truly blessed to see that the next generation of children will be given the tools to live in the ever changing post modern world they've been born into.

Housing is all set - I move this next weekend into a nice townhouse. My roommate is the Jr. High Director for the church from which we were planted. Just found out that Eugene O'Neil is from Danville, CA and there is a home and weekend dedicated to him each September. This year they are going to premiere "The Iceman Cometh" with a discussion at the end. Guess who has that marked in their calendar already? I'm slowly learning where all the main streets are and also figuring out where all the In-N-Outs are so I can go by them quickly. So far the pounds are falling off of me since I arrived here and I plan on keeping the scales going in that downward direction.

Well, this diversion was a needed relief, now it is time to go back to the books and finish my homework for the week. Finals are this coming week and I have about half of my work still outstanding on my paper. Oy, I can see a late night in my future.

Groundedness vs. The Tyranny of the Urgent

2007-05-28T12:14:00.001-07:00

This past weekend was the first weekend I flew "solo" so to speak - Pentecost Sunday, the birth of the church, the birth of new vision and ministry even though I often wonder along with scholars whether or not Jesus or the first disciples ever really planned on starting something outside of Judaism in the first place. If I were pressed for an answer at the moment, I would have to say that I line up in the camp that doubts an intentional departure, rather a new movement emerged over time due to culture and other influences that cropped up over time.

I've been fully emersed in Church History and Christology for the past week, partially trying to make up work for my Systematics 2 course online. The move and loss of computer for four weeks threw my GPA into a tailspin and I am grateful for my theology professor (Shout out to you Dr. K!) has been willing to let me make it up. In my experience at Fuller, that rarely happens and I think I exhausted all of my grace a couple of years ago when life got unduly hairy for me personally and I had too many balls juggling in the air. That has been a problem that I have had for too long and I am making it one of my primary areas of focus now.

In a way it seems that at the root of the situation was a lack of being grounded. I remember having a Spiritual Director who once had me step into a hula hoop and shared with me that "everything in the hoop is my stuff, everything outside of it is someone elses stuff." Boundaries 101 in a very tangible way. She then had me try to balance while trying to stand in two hula hoops located a distance away from the other. Needless to say it was challenging at best. The past two years have seemed that way for me up and down the board. One priest that I have mentioned in the past in this blog, Christopher, introduced me to the idea of mindfulness from a Christian perspective. Having been immersed in a religious culture that didn't subscribe to that idea, it was like a breath of fresh air had blown through my soul and spirit when I heard it. The challenge has been to really incorporate that idea into my daily life. I tried to make sure that I would have my "quiet time" in the morning, that I would have "Devos" (yep, I was a Campus Lifer can you tell?) at night, bible study group, Sunday School class, etc. but always felt more exhausted than I did grounded. When I became a part of the Episcopal Church, Christopher and others introduced me to the concept of a Rule of Life. I had let that Rule which I created get away from me when I moved to Oregon after realizing that what worked for me in LA wasn't going to work up there.

Funny thing is in this move, the Rule came with me. I found it easy to jump back into it from the start. At the moment, the Rule that I am incorporating into my life kinda looks like this:

Morning Devotional Prayer when I am walking Diva - I use prayer beads to help me focus - you know that "shiny object syndrome" problem I have. I pray one of the oldest and I think most beautiful prayers that I have learned called the Trisagion "Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us." Four times during the time I stop and I pray (praise for the created day and worship to the Creator God, reflection, confession and dedication of the day, prayers for family, friends and finally my immediate world, the nation and the world universal.) It takes me about a half an hour which means I am not only spending focused time in prayer but also getting a good walk in for both myself and Diva.

Praying the Office: I have to admit that I struggle with making time at night for Evening Prayer and Compline while I am temporarily housed at my Aunts because I don't have a space reserved for this but will soon.

Journaling I've found that this has been some of the most productive time that I've had to this point, until I can find a spiritual director here in the Bay Area, this has been a blessing in disguise. Richard Peace, one of my professors at Fuller demonstrated how to use journaling as a spiritual discipline in his "Pursuit of Wholeness" class and I've been using the time in that manner.

But by far the most important thing has been to take time for me. That means, making sure that I don't skip my Sabbath rest. I'm not a pro at this and I often find myself leaning towards giving that up for school, errands etc. But I am pressing on in keeping the day holy. Will let you know how it goes in the future.

Actually, now that I look at what I am doing, I'm realizing that much of what I am doing emerged out of my time at my parish in Beverly Hills and from the Pursuit of Wholeness class - never saw the connection before. The result so far is that I while life is busy, the demands still present - seminary, a new job, new environment and surroundings - there is a sense of stability...groundedness that is new. It's all new, and I have hopelessly been the type in the past to start something and then let it slide, my prayer is that this time I am willing to put my need(s) for groundedness first before all other things so that I can model what I share with others.

On a side note - I tried transferring my Y membership out here but the only Y close is in Pleasant Hill which is too much of a drag driving and honestly I'd find every excuse in the book not to go to the gym. So I found out that Fuller has a discount at 24Hr Fitness. Signed up this weekend and am having my first of 5 personal training sessions tomorrow afternoon. I got a discount on those sessions figuring that it would be better to have a professional training help me get off to a good start working out after a major back injury than going in halfcocked and injuring myself all over again. I have some paperwork to fill out before then - eating habits, favorite foods, exercise level etc. Talk about making me feel like a total couch potato. I used to move so much more than I did before I started grad school, I need to stop making excuses and do it again - I guess making it a fixed part of my schedule is going to be a non-negotiable item.

All Kinds of Families

2007-05-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

One of the struggles in Children's Ministry-is how to handle those holidays which stress or emphasize families. Mother's and Father's day being two of the key holidays. As our culture continues to fracture so many children find themselves in family units that no longer reflect the traditional intact family. In fact, I don't even like using that term any more as nearly 1:2 marriages now end in divorce or separation.

This question was recently brought up on the Kidology.org website and I in particular love the response and action that one Minister to Children shared:

We celebrate Father's Day by celebrating God, the Father. And tell kids that God is our Father, the best Father there is and give cool Bible stories. This has helped ease over those who don't have dads either because they ran out on their family, passed away or never knew them. This actually increased our kids coming to church, because no matter what they all had a dad!

When we do crafts, we had those that didn't have a dad make that craft for their Heavenly Father and they would leave it on the altar at church. We've displayed these on our altars for the past 5 years!

What a wonderful bridge for children who do not have a father (or in general a parent) in their lives. The idea of grounding these children in the knowledge and experience of God as caretaker/parent whose goodness, mercy and grace is always present can be the pole on which they hold onto throughout their lives when harsh winds blow. My appreciation goes out to churches and communities that continue to express the many ways in which families are made.

Settling in...

2007-05-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

The first week was a good one, while it seemed at times like I was going through information overload things all came together with the gracious help of three individuals who have been overlooking CM for the past period of time. I'm so indebted to each of them in so many ways (if you're reading this...THANK YOU!)

Sunday morning rolled along and I had an opportunity to meet parents and more importantly the kids. We have some really wonderful kids here at the church and their parents are involved in Children's Ministries - what a blessing. I'm going by "MJ" here at the church (for Ms. Jeanette) and the kids liked the name - and the fact that I have introduced early on my alter-ego "Gertrude Schlebimowitz." The name came from a gym that I went to years ago in Beverly Hills - I've always called myself Gertrude for fun and the owner of the gym one day called out to me the last name. The full name just kinda stuck after that. Gertrude originally came as a way to have to sign in on internet or other information sites that required a name. Beats having to give out personal info and get spammed to high heavens. Her character over the past few years has been evolving; think of a cross between Linda Richman from Mike Meyer's SNL "Coffee Talk" and The Church Lady a la Dana Carvey (see any connections?) and you've got the gyst of the character. Anyway, Gertrude always tries to pass herself off as me - horribly I might add and I've warned the kids that she might be showing up here trying to do the same again sometime soon. Hopefully my moving boxes will arrive soon and I can get out the costume again - otherwise I'll be heading off to Goodwill to purchase some odds and ends to make up Gertrude's should we say unique style.

VBS is underway here - we're using the Avalanche Ranch program from Group. I was so blessed when the meeting time came and 17 individuals mostly leaders showed up! Our ministry has two awesome volunteers to are chairing the experience and they are doing such a spectacular job! I drove away last night truly humbled at what a beautiful place I've landed at. The church has gone through some challenges over the past year and rather than seeing it crumble and lose hope the experience has somehow infused them with a sense of leadership and momentum - they've come to understand that the work of ministry has to rely on more than one individual and if they are not the ones to actively participate, it's not going to happen. Even Memorial Day weekend is already covered for Sunday.

On the personal front, I'm settling in. This past weekend I visited Newark, the town that I was raised in until high school. I lived in the Rosemont section and at the end of our block was/is a manmade Lake aptly called "The Lake." It's approximately 1.5 miles in diameter loaded with crawdads/mudbugs in the water, an occassional catfish (caught one on a shoestring with flour/water dough bait when I was 9) and more ducks/geese and seagulls than you can count. I brought my dog Diva over to the lake with me and we took our time walking around it - she definately had fun checking out the ducks, I kept her distance from the geese as there were a number of new goslings nearby. It was a deja vu of sorts for me - remembering the times we went out on canoes in the water as I passed by tiny boat docks, standing on the bridge where we would have rock throwing contests, remembering to stash stale bread to feed the duck and the happy times when my family would bike/walk around the lake in summers after dinner. In a sense, God was wrapping up some loose ends for me that together we've been working on over a period of time and I had a sense that a few more strands were being knotted up this weekend.

Yesterday before heading out to do homework I went for about a half mile walk on the beach in Alameda - I don't think I will ever get tired of viewing the SF Skyline from the beach as I walk. I really can't think of a city that I like more - even my time in Paris is a close second with Manhattan Beach running third.

Keep your prayers up for housing - I got a call last night from the individual that I was hoping to move in with and there might be a glitch, the church is considering a no pet policy again - I'm really praying that with a deposit they'll allow Diva in. Otherwise it will be a challenge coming up with first/last/deposits and I don't want to overextend my welcome at my aunt's place. So thanks in advance for the prayers.

How Do You Spell SUCCESS?

2007-05-18T16:06:00.001-07:00

I can't believe that the week has already ended and I'm facing my first Sunday morning in my new congregation. There's a part of myself that is facing that first day jitters. Yet the class rosters are filled for the next two weeks and individuals are beginning to sign up for the summer months. This coming weekend the church is starting to add registration cards in the bulletins and passing out the bulletins at the beginning of service so they can highlight and give the opportunity for individuals to hand in their cards - good call. They'll be highlighting the summer months for children's ministries and beginning on Tuesday I'll be hitting the pavement high and low for individuals to fill the gaps.

It's been a good week of settling in. I still feel like I'm in a whirlwind with information overload yet it is different this time because there is so much information and preparation that has been made for the person who took this spot. For that I will be forever blessed and thankful! There's much to do; first on my plate besides the acclimation is a budget line item and then beginning to flesh out possible vision/objectives for the upcoming year. This is going to take time - I will be doing this in the culture and company of other individuals who have been a part of this ministry to make certain that we are focusing on what is of importance to this community and to help with buy in and ownership of what we plant. Afterall, it is the entire communities crop, I am blessed to be the one that is given the weighty responsibility of watering, weeding and harvesting. As I shared, this is going to take time yet it is again bringing me back to the question of what a spiritually healthy child looks like? And as I am this causes me to ask some questions:

When a child moves to Jr. High School/Middle School ministries what foundation will they bring with them?
Will the scriptural knowledge they bring with them consist merely of stories, memory verses and random ideas with no real understanding of how they all connect?
Will a child be able to begin to make critical decisions about how they will incorporate their faith into their everyday lives?
Have they begun to incorporate spiritual disciplines of prayer, study, service and worship into their lives?

And then of course comes the question of how can one really measure those responses? One of the biggest challenges in ministry to children is the quest for a reasonable way to evaluate "success." I admit at one time I was looking at success through the lens of growth - participate numbers, increase in giving, consecutive weekly attendance, volunteering parents etc. The problem with measuring success this way is that you can become so myopic on numbers that you wind up missing what is in front of you that is truly important. The child and their spiritual development. That's not to say that growth or increase is not a factor that needs to be considered - healthy programs will show growth yet it is an outcome of, and not the main goal.

My hope as I begin this ministry is that the answers to these questions will look something like this:

Children look forward to being a part of our ministry with them. They desire to be regular participants in it and begin to build relationships not only with their friends, but with their shepherds and guides.
Volunteers find that they are energized by their time in ministry and are eager, excited to be a part.
Families become like the apostle Andrew who exhorted others to "come and see" about this Jesus. They become the first link in outreach to the community about what we're doing with and for children.
Children develop a deep seated, heartfelt love for God that is communicated through involvement in worship, a desire to be discipled, living out their faith through their choices.

I'll be spending much time digging around for ways in which we can remain faithful to the message of Christ while fostering children's faith in this ever changing and challenging world.

MMMM....waffles

2007-05-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

Mmmm waffles - there's none better than Ole's Waffle House in Alameda!

Welcome Back Kotter ... I Mean Netter

2007-05-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

My family - myself and the Diva dog have finally landed! After many months of prayer and discernment, I submitted my resignation at the church that I was working at to return to California. I missed the large urban area and vibe that accompanies such a surrounding and felt so homesick the entire time that I was in Oregon...you know like continually writing "CA" instead of "OR", calling state troopers "CHiPs", etc. Tony Bennett was right - I had left my heart in SF and the Bay Area when I was 15 and we moved away from there. It took me a few decades to make it back but God was gracious and the move took place.

Originally, I was looking at coming on board with another church in the Bay Area, after a period of time in conversations the church had to put on hold the offer due to some internal issues. I'm thankful for that happening, it allowed me an opportunity to really continue to process whether the church I was looking was going to be as good a fit as originally presented. During the process I had asked for continual doors to be opened in prayer and God graciously answered those prayers with a church community in the Tri-Valley area of the East Bay. Yesterday I began work at San Ramon Presbyterian Church as their new Director of Children's Ministries. I couldn't have asked for a better location. San Ramon is situated in the valley which provides for the beautiful green hills and great weather that I was going to miss about Oregon, yet is a hop, skip and a jump from the SF shoreline.

We left this past Saturday evening after a marathon two and a half weeks of purging, packing and goodbyes. The little Mazda was loaded up as far as it could safely be packed and we left Newberg. I was hoping to get to Weed the first night but tuckered out after a couple of hours driving. Diva did incredible! She had her little pillow and blanket, the harness was too small for her and thank goodness she didn't feel the "need" to try to roam the car although I can't imagine where she would have gone. The iTunes came in handy - I finally finished Frank Peretti's "The Oath" - marginally good book for an audio book and if it fell into the right hands it would make a decent sci-fi script or B rated mini-series...but I digress. U2, Dave Matthews, Cold Play and a host of other jams kept the drive sailing smoothly. The weather was GORGEOUS - blue skies and great scenery all the way down. Mt. Shasta was visible. I didn't know how many rest stops there were which made traveling with a pet terrific. We took a few short stops for Diva to play and my legs to stretch out.

I hit California about 3:30ish on Sunday afternoon and found myself crying - surprised me! I discovered a couple of things this native Californian didn't know - Jelly Bellies are manufactured in Fairfield, and we now can ride the Diamond lane with one person on off hours when posted. And while I can say that I ate very healthy all the way down my car did a quick "exit" when low and behold I spotted an In and Out Burger. My first meal back home was a delicious double double and fries. Calorie and fat laden, but ooooh so delicious with those grilled onions.

The drive through the 80 wasn't as bad as I thought, with the MacArthur Maze being closed due to that horrendous accident that destroyed a large section of the freeway - they had the detours labeled really well and even this first time driver had no problem finding my way which is great seeing I can be directionally challenged at times. According to the news this morning the new estimate is that the freeway will be up and functional again 26 days earlier than scheduled as they are having round the clock crews working on the rebuilding project. I think that actually surpasses the the time that it took when a portion of the freeway fell in the LaPrieta quake in 89. I found myself crying again when I looked over to my right and found the skyline of SF. I am home.

We're temporarily housed at my aunt's home, she's been awesome and great company too! Diva now has a new playmate - Roxie is a 3 year old psenji who seems to enjoy having someone around. There's only been a small scrap here and there when someone (I won't mention any names Diva...) was a bit overzealous in her playtime. I'm meeting with someone this week and hope that it will work out to move into a townhouse in Danville which will bring my commute down from 30 minutes to about 15 at tops. Gas hasn't been too bad so far, the most I've paid is $3.54 and I found out I had gotten ripped when another station six blocks away had it for $3.37.

Well that is it for now - it's been a lot of information to digest and I am suffering from information overload. I think it's time to hit the road home so I can take Diva on a walk at the Beach. Ooooh, I LOVE saying those words again!

Adios Amigos!

2007-05-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

Happy Thursday to you all! It's been quite a few busy weeks for me. Most of the time I've been focusing on my online course work which has been challenging to complete without my laptop - I've been going to the Lake Oswego Public Library to use their computers with sound cards to take lecture notes and submit all the required writings. I'm loving my Theology class which is focusing on Christology and Soteriology. These are such important concepts to understand beyond the mere formalities when you are involved in the important process of providing spiritual formation/catechesis to children and to your volunteers as well. I've discovered that I am starting to understand Barth, and still come away from lectures with regards to Schliermacher (not sure on the spelling) with the same dull headache that I did in Dr. Brown's classes! To my friend the Feminarian - I'm with ya baby and feel your pain! I've just settled on my paper topic and in the next two weeks will be hammering out the rough draft for that along with all the other items due.

The other thing that I've been doing is visiting churches during interviews. It's been wonderful to check out how churches are trying to reach out to those in their communities. There was one church in particular that I was really interested in working for which didn't work out as I mentioned previously in a post. I was bummed from the perspective that I had put much time and effort into the interview process yet at the end could easily see that it was for the best. Shortly after ending my process with this church another church contacted me. When I flew down a few weeks into the process the experience was so much different than San Jose. I felt like I had landed back home. In a sense, I had. The East Bay area of Northern California is where I grew up until high school. In the larger sense it was the place that played a central part in forming me. I know that might sound funny but I really do believe that the communities that we grow up in play a significant role in the formation of who we are as people and our sense of community.

Take my home of Newark, CA. Population 42,471 at the 2000 census. Newark was and is a multicultural location. The church and school that I attended was the only Catholic church in the area. My memories of Newark for the most part are great - riding bikes and fishing for crawdads at The Lake around the corner from my house, sneaking off to Coyote Hills Park to search for obsidian arrow heads from Ohlone tribes. Digging up the occasional horse shoe at the dirt patch between our residential area and the church next to it - reminders of the dairy community that was previously on our land. Going to Newark Days in September and the summer days spent at the Park where I was part of the "Rec Rats" gang. This city allowed me to be exposed to so many unique cultures - Native American, Hispanic, Asian, East Indian, Jewish in a relatively small area. Living in the San Francisco Bay Area provided me with an even greater view of the world - especially in the 70's when so much of the world around us was changing. It was in the combination of my church, city, family and Bay Area that I learned what it meant to be a part of a community, what my responsibilities to community where and how to be an member of God's community while not hiding away from the rest of the world. In this place, I came to know God, to love God, and eventually to desire to serve God.

So much for that tangent....needless to say the Bay Area is where I consider home. And now, I am happy to say, I am returning home. San Ramon Presbyterian has asked me to join their staff to work with their children and families, and I have accepted. The church is a growing church, with a solid children's ministry. I won't be jumping into a ministry that so many challenges like this previous church. I'm blessed to have administrative help 12 hours a week, volunteers who come in and prep materials and set up rooms, and a healthy, active and committed staff of ministers in place. They've even purchased curriculum and set up the basics for summer already! And VBS is rolling along smoothly. I feel so blessed to be joining a church that has procedures already in place.

I head out on either Friday or Saturday of this next week, doing a two day journey so I can enjoy the scenery on my way down. I'll be bunking at my aunt's for two weeks and then hopefully moving into a place by June 1st. I'd appreciate your prayers the next two weeks for protection and health in my back - it's a bit strained right now and safety on the road. I'll be testing out Diva's new seatbelt/harness this weekend and together we'll be on the road. I'll be taking some pics on the way of our journey and posting when I have a chance. So stay tuned!

Adios Amigos!

Is a closed door always a sign?

2007-03-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, the start of another week. March is almost ending and I am grateful for that. It's been a rough month - a month that seemed to hold promise on some ends only which didn't pan out. Reflecting on these experiences has been interesting for me. There is a sense of attempting to acknowledge that providence seemed to determine that these were "closed doors" and communicated that to me very clearly.

Yet there is this question that has once again raised its head in my theological framework. Is a closed door always a sign? There are times in the past when there have been pastors or speakers who have communicated that when something doesn't work or pan out in the way that you or others expected it to; that it could be acknowledged that in the God's plan this was a way of your answer to prayer being a no or a closed door at this point. I've heard many of my friends mumble under their breaths about whether or not there was one "one" for them - and what happens if that "one" joins up with an individual not intended for them? Then there are the plethora of stories that arose out of the ashes of 9/11 which shared how individuals missed trains, subways or decided at the last moment not to take flights only to find themselves spared from the horrific events of that day. In my world it is interesting to note that a former work associate and his family had wound up staying a day later back East only to find them booked on one of the flights that crashed into the World Trade Towers.

At times it's hard for me to digest the concept of providence and sovereignty in our lives and the fact that there is much more to this Universe that we are not privy of in spite of our delusions of grandeur. The work associate who died on 9/11 - can we really say that it was designed of God for that individuals life to end on that day? And what about their 2 1/2 year old son who was killed as well?

There are times that I think in life we have to be comfortable with saying "I don't know" to questions such as these. I don't know why things turn out the way they do at times. Personally, I don't know all the lessons that I am to gain both now and in the future from this experience in Oregon, nor do I fully comprehend why some opportunities and connections don't happen the way I hope for them to end. And at the same time I am grateful to recognize that those "closed doors" that I have prayed for did happen and new openings have begun which might lead to a better venue - and actually one more closely aligned with my skillset and passion.

So to answer the question I posed, perhaps closed doors are a sign of the "not yet" factor playing out in our lives. Not the right time, not the right venue, not having learned the right lessons yet to walk through that experience in a healthy way. After all, not yet is neither negative or positive, it just is. And living in the present not knowing exactly what is to come next is one of the more challenging lessons in life that we learn. For me, I sense that is what God is teaching me right now. To be content in the grey, the not yets while knowing that in these moments growth is taking place.

The Latest

2007-03-25T22:03:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting couple of weeks. The long term "hiatus" is growing weary on me - I am looking forward to getting back into ministry believe it or not and have been finding myself thinking about how I could leverage my experience with children into a ministry that might be more adult minded. Or looking at the possibility of finding some other way to be involved in ministry while still focusing more on finishing up this M.Div.

The news came back recently about San Jose - at the moment it is a pass. I was not surprised as it seemed that there was always this "but" dangling at the end of the conversations. It was hard to hear those words, I really felt that there could have been a good connection there as well as a match in the vision and goal of the ministry. The community had lost two key individuals this past year and are being so cautious not to repeat this departure scenario again that they are being extremely meticulous and deliberate in calling someone to the position.

Two and a half weeks ago I began conversations with a church in San Ramon which seems to be more in line with what I am looking for. Strangely enough it is not an "emergent" church yet has a heart to meet the needs in an emergent manner. The church already has two female associates so the ability or ease of working with women in leadership has already been laid out; there is an active outreach into the community by every ministry including children; and there is a focus on grace, rather than legalism. I've been invited to come down this coming weekend for a second interview. The conversations which I had this past weekend were positive and left me feeling as though I could fit in within this body. There are positive movements and comments on both sides so it will be exciting to see what the weekend holds in store.

In the meantime, it's been a challenge to find a temp job here - it appears that I am "over qualified" to do the executive assistance jobs I've done in the past - or they squirm when they see a resume that demonstrates administrative ability but the last three jobs in churches. I can see where that would be a challenge to some but sheesh wade. I remember at PwC where I used to work they purposely recruited at BYU for associates because of the students high level of ethics. I've signed on at Starbucks in the meantime for medical insurance after 20 hours of work a week. That and the fact that the people that I am working with are very fun to be with. For the meantime until a job comes it will be enough to cover rent and the car payment, very little other however.

I had to change classes at Fuller the ones that I wanted were booked. So I am taking Dr. Karkkainen's theology online which starts tomorrow. I've already had a chapter read in the book and waiting to get the other books from the bookstore mailed to me.

I've also settled on a church while I am here in the area. It's called 2nd Street Community Church and is a 180 degree turn from where I previously attended. The pastor is going through Haggai currently and it has been like water on parched ground. I can slowly feel God beginning to heal the wounds incurred at this past ministry experience - it is slow but I know that I will be stronger for it.

Does Dobsen Truly Speak for Us?

2007-03-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/marchweb-only/109-53.0.html

I continue to applaud the Vice President of the NEA for his willingness to stand up in the face of those who preach a gospel of intolerance. To me it is just plain audacity for Dobson to truly believe that he (Dobson) speaks for all Evangelicals

"If he cannot be trusted to articulate the views of American evangelicals on environmental issues, then we respectfully suggest that he be encouraged to resign his position with the NAE."

Dear Dr. Dobson - there are individuals within the Evangelical movement who do believe that we are to be the caretakers of this environment. We are to be on the forefront of insuring that generations to come have a world that is not only inhabitable but that it reflects the character and nature of God's creative power. There is a growing sense of discomfort Dr. Dobson, with the gospel that you and others articulate to the public at large. There is a growing number of individuals from my generation and younger - that hold to a gospel that demands respect for all people, all the environment, and a respect for the earliest roots of our faith.

I'd encourage all of us to contact the NEA and share with them our agreement with Rev. Cizik and ask for his continued presence within the NEA.

Ideal vs. Reality in My World

2007-03-02T16:49:00.000-08:00

Wow! I didn't realize how long it has been since posting here. Life since leaving my ministry position has been interesting. I had some ideas as to how I was going to spend it and as usual, my so called "ideas" went one way and the reality was something radically different.

I thought that I would immediate go about looking for a temp job.
Reality was that I found I needed to really rest - that the amout of stress and "life" that had hit me hadn't been processed through completely and I needed to focus on this.

I thought that I would organize and box a ton of stuff up
Reality was that I did organize (yeah!) but held off doing a lot of boxing from the standpoint of I'm still waiting to see where I am going to land.

What has been good is a sense of rest that has happened in my life. This period of time has pulled up some aspects of my life up that I didn't know were areas and places that I needed to still grow. Areas such as the need to still please individuals - how often did I hold back what I was feeling/personal spiritual beliefs because I felt it was more important to show a "unified front" when honestly I was didn't hold the same beliefs? Why did it take so long for me to finally step forward and say that "this wasn't going to work?" How come I repressed the core desire within me to truly be a part of a community that strove for reconciliation (economic, racial, spiritual) when that is something that has been a part of my life for so long?

I found myself spending much time pondering these aspects (and others that will stay between me, myself and I) at the Oregon Coast with two great friends. Together we checked out the Aquarium, had great conversations, checked out the beauty that is in Oregon. In the process there were times of quiet and the ability to get alone with your own thoughts. I have to say that I really missed living in Manhattan Beach after this weekend, there was a peace that came back over me that has been missing for awhile. Actually, I think it was the sense of being grounded and centered.

I came back from that weekend focused on committing to a rhythm of life that would foster my sense of being grounded and centered again. In the process of having my world turned upside down over the past year and a half, I've realized that all of the things that I had incorporated into my life spiritual and communally to provide me with a sense of being centered had evaporated. So Ash Wednesday I again moved back into a rhythm that includes mindfulness and silence. I continued to do the traditional "simplicity move" that Christopher my 20s/30s priest had shared with us - to hold off any major purchases during Lent and instead focus on clearing away the clutter and excess that can be found in our lives. As a result there is a major purging right now of clothes and other items that I haven't thought of or needed in the past year. It feels good to let go of some of things things as though they are freeing me up in anticipation of the future. Of course, I am already trying to find a way to justify splurging on my birthday which this year conveniently falls on a Sunday - the "free day" card for Lenten abstinances!

As far as the work search goes I've had some really good conversations with a community in San Jose. It's been difficult on one hand because I have been honest with them about some of the areas that I discovered weren't necessarily as strong as I have thought them to be in the past; shared with them some of my strengths that have come out of the experience as well. The concern for me is that looming question of whether or not I am "shooting myself in the foot" with regards to this honesty. I am hoping that this is a mark of recognizing my limitations and vulnerabilities as well as trying to live in humility before God and others. I am tired of trying to please - the only voice I need to hear say well done from is that of my Creator.

This past Thursday through Sunday I was down in San Jose with this community. After a flight rescheduling (thanks Alaska Airlines for bumping my earlier flight - I enjoyed the free lunch on you all and the 1K extra miles!) I would up immediately going into interviews for the remainder of the weekend. I kept using the word intense to describe them but honestly I couldn't think of another aside from "I felt as though I was in group therapy" to describe it. No, actually, I guess that I could say that the conversations that I had during my time there felt like the ones that I should have had in my discernment group for vocations in the Episcopal Church but the parish that I was involved in really had no clue as to what or where to go during the process. The questions were deep, probing my personal faith and life, how did I handle my areas of wounded ness, what was community to me and how did I go about searching and finding it to others that quite frankly I just can't think of at the moment. I had approximately 4 conversations on Thursday, at least 8 on Friday with two individuals at each one, lunch and dinner with pastoral staff people, and a desert on Friday night that went till almost 10 p.m. - a 13 hour day of deep processing. Saturday I met with at least five individuals, dinner again with pastoral staff and collapsed into bed to chat with one of my good friends in North Carolina about the process. I am so blessed that there are people in my life who are willing to be open, to reflect back to me not necessarily what I want to hear but what will be the best for me and who I genuinely have fun with! P.S. - to that friend it would be a blast if we both found ourselves in the Bay Area!

Finally on Sunday I taught the K/1st graders and then presented a discussion on Spiritual Disciplines. THe evening I met with one other individual and shared a bit more at length and hopefully shed some light on areas that perhaps I was not too clear on during earlier conversations. Then I had a taste of community life by watching the Oscars with a group of people and taking home the prize for matching Oscar song nominees. I decompressed on Monday by checking out the area near San Jose for places to live, culture. In a surprising experience, I went back to the city that I grew up in and found myself sitting in the pews at the church where I consider my spiritual formation to have taken place. Out of nowhere I found myself getting emotional - here I was in the environment where I discovered God - where I came to love God, to know that I was loved, to take part in community through sacraments and life in general. It was the place that formed me on a much deeper level than I have ever connected with previously. And in some aspects it is this community that has given me the blue print so to speak for how ministry to children can take place and needs to take place during this period of shifting from modernity to postmodernity. In the process I realized that what this community in San Jose was seeking I had found as a child and could offer a piece of that discovery to them for their own journey as a people of faith.

Since my arrival home it has been life as usual. My step-niece gave birth to her first born Jayden Miguel, who is just gorgeous - at least from the pictures I've seen. It snowed Tuesday and Wednesday and melted upon touch down - the type of snow that I like when I am not at a ski lodge! And I've been hunting down some temp work while I wait for the church to respond back to me by the 12th. This is the part of the journey that I dislike - the period of waiting. I'm trying to look at it as an opportunity to remember how to rest in God's faithfulness and as my mom shares - remember that nothing is going to surprise God during this time.
I registered for Spring quarter as well today - I'm taking Dr. Goldingay's Penateuch class on line and President Mouw's Christ in Culture via IDL. Yes I am a glutton for punishment but I really do want to take these classes from both of these professors and this is the only way when I'm not at the main campus. I may be blogging about drowning in reading in approximately two and a half weeks but this is the norm on Fuller's campus.

Sabbath for all

2007-01-24T15:21:00.000-08:00

I think I've never fully understood what a Sabbath means. It seems to me that the only time that I have ever fully "let down" is when I am locked up in a monastery on a fairly lengthy (read: more than a weekend) silent retreat. I am normally inundated with items and distractions that take my focus from one thing to another. Yes - like many I suffer from the proverbial "Shiny Object Syndrome." Actually, there is a mild dose of ADD also in the equation as well.

I think there is something to this idea about an unfocused culture. We are a culture built around distractions. From an early age we provide children with lights and sounds and pictures, we expose our children at what I think is too young of an age to media such as prolonged television exposure (this coming from a media freak I know I must sound like a heretic). Mine was the first culture to be brought up with MTV and later now that we're older VH1.

We are told of the need to create five and ten year plans. We surround ourselves with diversions to take away the stress from those five and ten year plans. We use fast food, the internet and other addictions to medicate ourselves from feeling anything that might help us connect to the fact that inside of ourselves is a looming void that we don't know how to fill - or even fix.

We don't do very well in the relationship department either. Most of us are in and out of relationships - I can count on one hand how many individuals that I know who have a long term marriage (read over 25 years). Most of my friends and acquaintances have what is now termed "serial monogamous" relationships.

Then there is seminary. For those of you who know someone or God bless you are currently in seminary such as I am you know what I am talking about. Lectures and reading and conscribed small groups can take the place of forging genuine relationships. Large amounts of reading and digesting of material, parsing scripture, exegesis not isogesis in preaching and homiletics, self reflection without the benefit of spiritual direction all add up to the fact that so many of us by the middle of a ten week quarter are sleep deprived, snapping and overwhelmed at the prospects of ever making it through the final five weeks. Add to that those quarters when you are doing Field Work and you are just one ball of kinetic energy looking for a place to discharge. Chapel? Who has time for that? Quiet time? You attempt it but there are so many distractions not counting lack of sleep that play into the success/failure of the endeavor.

Our constant movement, our constant "need" to focus on so many aspects of our world which we have conjured up as being important and necessary really distract us from the one item which we are called to focus upon. Scripture exhorts us to "Be Still and Know that I AM God." This phrase alone is enough to cause us to go into a guilt induced shame spiral. Yet the question remains, are we really too defocused? I think we are. God I believe radically calls for us to be single minded - to put the focus on God as our SOURCE for everything.

My brother in law is a chiropractor. I always laugh when I heard their answering machine ending "you're not fine unless your spine is aligned" but it always makes me pause and consider the fact that it is a matter of alignment that consistently throws my body out of whack. Too much of this, too little of that. To be still and know that God is God is giving our spiritual life a serious alignment. It's reminding us that God is the ultimate source of our lives, the author of our life and salvation. In God we live and move and have our being. Nothing comes into this world without the creative DNA that comes only from the Divine One. Yet we go through our lives being pulled one way and pushed another.

Consider this. I am now embarking on six weeks of time accrued from unused vacation. On one hand it is wonderful to have the luxury of this time to relax and become refreshed yet on the other hand how incredible is it that in the eighteen months that I was on assignment I never really took time to have a Sabbath of my own? What kind of an example was I to those I worked with, to those I ministered too?

Sabbath, I am coming to find out is God given for many reasons. To refresh our bodies, to renew our spirits , to connect with God and bring our lives back into a balance that includes the acknowledgement that we ourselves are NOT God inspite of our delusions.

I'm starting to think that Sabbath is a mind set. It is a way to incorporate that wonderful gift of boundaries into our lives. To create a rhythm in our lives that allows us daily to be reminded of the fact that we are in relationship with God and this relationship needs to have time to gestate and develop.

Sabbath for me this week is renewing my surroundings. Taking care of the laundry, the house and then beginning tomorrow - resting before God. I am going to be entering into a conversation with God about how I can realign myself so that I can live a true Sabbath life.

Telling our stories...

2007-01-21T08:35:00.000-08:00

One of the most powerful ways of communication is through story. Our earliest traditions and beliefs in humanity have been passed down through tribal oracles - those entrusted to remember the stories of their people. Stories are means by which we convey our own deep seated hopes, frustrations and aspirations for ourselves and for humanity.

I'm always struck by the healing power of stories - in recovery movements one of the vehicles of healing is actually sharing your story. In meetings one shares about the broken places in their lives and their journey towards healing. Therapists are trained to help an individual decipher the real story from the perceived in a patient's life. Spiritual Directors help guide their fellow pilgrim to take note of the special twists and turns that emerge on their road to God.

Brian McLaren speaks alot about the stories we share in relation to Christianity. It has made me think about the analogies and metaphors that Jesus used in the parables and what metaphors we can use from our everyday lives to communicate the passion and power of the message itself. That God loves us unconditionally, that until we embrace that divine love for our own lives we are in a state of disrest in our loves body, mind and spirit. What would the shape of our stories take if we dared to think of the power of story.

Saying Goodbye-prematurely

2007-01-12T13:19:00.000-08:00

It's been a challenging week - in the midst of my own personal grief work related to letting go of this position I came into the office this past Tuesday to be asked to go over to the local Middle School as the 6th graders had experienced the loss of a classmate of theirs.

I spent the around six hours at the middle school with our Youth Pastor on Tuesday and another 3 hours or so doing some wrap up on Wednesday. The picture that was given to me of this girl was that she celebrated and loved life to the fullest. In the midst of being her own unique individual, she apparantly had a heart that looked out for others who didn't quite fit the middle school mold and took them under her wing. For many of these students it was the first time a peer had passed away, or it brought up many unresolved losses of grandparents or divorced parents in their own lives.

Yet the one issue that I heard over and over again from kids was that they never had a chance to say "sorry." I shared with those that I was listening to that most adults would agree that the WORST years of school would be middle school. Everyone is trying to fit in and you're still trying to figure out who you are, and the last thing in the world that one wants to do is stand out and be DIFFERENT! I had the girls/guys try to channel some of that regret into creating a book of "lessons that X taught them." It seemed to be helpful and appreciated by the counselors who were in and out of the safe room.

Working with grieving kids is never easy. My first weeks in ministry in Oregon had me working with parents, adults and kids as one of our beloved families was involved in a horrific car accident where the mother was seriously injured and the oldest daughter killed. Previously, I've worked with families involved in murder/suicides and I think that the most challenging ones are those whose deaths are unexpected.

The last bit of news which I heard at the school this week was that this girl's life was truly a miracle. An undiagnosed defect was the root of her passing, and in reality it is a miracle that she lived 12 lively and energy packed years.

And in the meantime, please keep my Aunt's family in your prayers as we received word on Wednesday evening that my 48 year old cousin was found dead in his apartment. His life will be remembered.

For those of you who work are interested in "boning up" on your grief work skills I recommend two programs that are outstanding in their work.

Rainbows - (http://www.rainbows.org/) is a nationally recognized grief recovery and support group for children and their families experiencing a wide variety of loss - from divorce recovery to death of sibling/parent. They have a wonderful facilitator training program which I was able to participate in and later facilitated groups through a Hospice program at a major medical center.

Dougy Center (http://www.dougy.org/) is another nationally recognized support group founded in Portland, Or.

Via Media Kids - a blog especially for kids and their parents!

2007-01-06T15:28:00.000-08:00

Hi all-

Just wanted to let you know that I have a new devotional blog for kids called "Via Media Kids." You can reach it here at this link: http://viamediakids.blogspot.com/

Please pass the link onto kids and families who might be interested.

Thanks!

Plastic Dashboard Jesus and the Communities that Love Them

2007-01-05T15:12:00.000-08:00

What can I say about today? I had on my Master Calendar list for January (prepared way before I was leaving or announced my decision to leave) that it was time to work on the closets upstairs - so between myself and my friend we got two closets cleaned out and sorted with everything labeled for easy access. It will be a lot nicer than what was left for me when I arrived at work 17 months ago...I'm glad because nothing is worse than not knowing what has been done, where things are or who to go to for an answer on a question.

I've been asked to contact people individually to listen to them after receiving the email. Most have nothing to say, or are curious as to what in store for me. The hardest one to hear this afternoon was from someone who basically said that no one would ever tell me what they really felt but there will be a sigh of relief that I am departing because "I was the worst thing that ever happened to this church." When I asked if they could elaborate (yes, I am a glutton for punishment) they shared that they felt that there was too much of a push for parents to be taking responsibility for the spiritual raising of their children. That if they wanted their children to be raised to be a part of the world they would not be Christians because Christians are to "not be of this world." I was diametrically teaching what they didn't want their kids to hear and they were having to "unteach" them every weekend after they went to classes.

God bless that individual. I am sure they do not represent all members of the congregation, nor the families of the kids who attend weekly. If they do - I'm sorry and I hold firm to the belief that so many of us are ghettoized in the proverbial "Christian world" exclusively that we are oblivious to how those who aren't Christians view us. I want so much more for our kids - they are soaking up a culture and a world which feels that Christianity is more of a nusance rather than an important part of one's core beliefs. There is a pantheon of spiritual beliefs from which to choose and as long as it's good for you and doesn't hurt others do it. We long for community yet isolate ourselves creating a form of community which meets needs but not the truest need of being known and vulnerable to another individual. It just seems we need to be available to the world at large rather than safely tucked away in our plastic universe.

I'm Spent

2007-01-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

There is this old Noel Paul Stockey worship tune from the late 70's - my time in youth group that easily sums up todays spiritual exercise

Hand it over to the Father
Hand it over to the Son
Hand it over to the Spirit
Till the work is done...

I guess that is today's exercise in spirituality - don't hang on to stuff, turn it over till the work is done. Oh, and by the way the work is never done on this spiritual plane. Last night I turned in my resignation to our Leadership after having done so earlier in the morning to my Executive Pastor. Today I shared with the staff - not an easy thing to do. I don't think many were surprised. Since then I've been spacing out phone calls to key ministry individuals letting them know because they will be receiving an email informing them about my decision and another one from the Sr. Pastor inviting them to a "summit meeting" to discuss the transition period.

I'm spent. While I'm a fairly strong person emotionally the one area that I struggle with (and who doesn't) is acceptance. In spite of what I know to have been some wonderful seeds planted, I fear that all which would be shared during that meeting would be a complete listing of all my failings and shortcomings. There might be some of that - not everyone will always be in agreement and when someone leaves the first thing to happen is to focus on what you didn't like to keep yourself from feeling pain and loss.

The upswing is that this evening I get an opportunity to see Newberg Christian School's "Christmas Program." No, they are not keeping to the early church concept of Epiphany, the evening they were to perform Oregon was hit with a record breaking windstorm - 100+ mph winds and rain which caused havoc, destruction and unfortunate a few lives lost throughout the State. Most schools and cities cancelled their Christmas programs and other events so we are having the rescheduled version performed for us tonight. If that is not an example of redemption - what is?

So, keep me in your prayers this weekend. I'll be sharing the news of my departure this weekend with the kids (preschool excepting...they'll be the week before my departure). My last Sunday is the 21st and I am assuming that also means that I will have to have my office cleaned out at that time as well. I know God is in the process but personally, this is the point in the adventure that life just sucks.

What's Around the Corner?

2006-12-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here in my office, finalizing a few more details to this coming weekend's New Year's Eve curriculum for our kids ministry thinking over the past year. If I had to define the experience of moving from a progressive Episcopal congregation to a "more conservative than I realized" Church in a very open and moderate denomination - that word would have to be shell-shocked.

I know, the word seems a bit harsh. But the reality is that there is so much that seminary doesn't even begin to teach us about. Nor does the 3 quarters of Field Education and the 1 quarter of CPE work. Sure, I can create a liturgy, be decent enough in my preaching to ensure not preaching any grossly obvious heresies yet there is so much more than that.

Personally, It was a year of physical pain and heartache. My back had a major blowout with two ruptured discs and a reinjury in the middle of the summer. Trying to do the leg work of ministry while in excruciating pain was a nightmare. Being made aware that my mother who at 82 is quickly moving into her final transition years reminded me of the challenges of having "older" parents - which made me rethink about whether being single and in the ministry really made a good mix for becoming an adopted parent thus painfully again laying that dream back down and acknowledging that for the time being it is not to be pursued.

Ministry wise, I didn't expect the lonliness. Perhaps it is the fallout of living in an well to do suburb. Perhaps it is the the fact that you can take the girl out of the city but not the city out of the girl." Perhaps I lived in the awesome community founded in the "near" barrio of East Orange Grove Blvd. in Pasadena too long. I missed the diversity of life that I had in the city. And I couldn't let go of it no matter how much I attempted.

My Spiritual Director shared that more than likely that God was making aware of how much the church in America struggles with true acceptance of those who are unlike ourselves. That the Spirit was in the process of clarifying what the true passion and heart of my ministry might include - if I allowed the Spirit to work within me. Of course that means finally yielding to the possibility that this was merely an interim placement to knock out of my spirit some presumptions that I possessed while gaining further distance from the insane ministry internship position in my first two years of seminary.

And in the midst of the weariness there was this grace filled place that allowed me to really rethink my faith journey to this point, consider the lessons that I have garnered and focus on recreating a more accurate vision for my ministry and I pray my life. In the process of this, I am letting go of the dreams of what I thought ministry would/could be like and trying to be receptive to what God's designs might be for me. Secretly, I wish that God had those burning bush moments with me like Moses, but that is not in his/her plan. Part of the joy and mystery of the spiritual journey is not knowing what is around the corner yet beliving that when you get there you won't be alone.