It's been a continuing process for me with regards to developing leadership skills. I had always been told that I demonstrated good leadership in past projects, I turned a corner with regards to leadership in a church or ministry setting during this season of my life. Leadership, I am beginning to understand, has more to do with the character and nature of the individual rather than the project timeline. I have struggled in how to lead without appearing to be "bossy", a term used to describe my leadership style from a Field Education experience I had. I struggled with trying to understand the subtle and not so stubtle differences by starting with a simple definition of what bossy is. Dictionary.com puts it like this:
boss·y1
–adjective, boss·i·er, boss·i·est. given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering.
then of course, there was my favorite -
bos·sy3
–noun, plural -sies. a familiar name for a cow or calf.
and the one that just plain made me sick to my stomach after reading -
bossy
-adjective
offensively self-assured or given to exercising usually unwarranted power; "an autocratic person"; "autocratic behavior"; "a bossy way of ordering others around"; "a rather aggressive and dominating character"; "managed the employees in an aloof magisterial way"; "a swaggering peremptory manner" [syn: autocratic]*
Sucker punch to the gut. There are aspects of what I have previously identified as leading in these definitions - the cow one aside. I'm being stretched by God in this area. What I have seen differently in myself over the past few months is that I am walking in confidence; I'm becoming more comfortable in my own skin and that I really think is having an impact how I come across with others.
The more comfortable I become, I am able to listen to what others are sharing. When they are invited to join a team, it's because they are valued and cared for. I'm not babysitting individuals like I have felt I needed to in the past. When I touch bases I know that people have been working on projects and will be ready. And when you are part of a ministry team that is committed to working with kids because it is a value they all share - it's exciting to see what develops.
The summer has been key for me in this area. I've spent more time on relationship building than needing to extinguish fires which is wonderful. The ministry schedule is approximately 60-75% filled. Our WoW (Wonders of Worship) team leader just called and I shared with her the themes for curriculum this quarter and I'm looking forward to seeing how they integrate those plus our overall ministry theme this year. Kick off Sunday teams are starting to get things in place and there is a sense of positive anticipation. Here is a sample of what is taking place in our Children's Ministry.
The "BIG House" is our theme for the coming year. Our scriptural key is John 14:2-4 which is Jesus' last discourse, sharing on how we know the way to the Father, that Jesus doesn't abandon us but is with us always. Things have been in transition in this community for a season, and there is a hope that as we move forward in the selection of a Senior Pastor, there will be new focus and energy in envisioning what God is ready to do in and through us. It's a time to build on the foundation of God's word that has been laid in our children's hearts and ministry and enter into a period of planned expectation. And - from a family ministry/outreach perspective, laying a foundation on which our children will build their ethical/moral structures upon is a highly valued commodity in the San Ramon Valley community at large.
What's valuable in this season of development is recognizing the fruit that is happening, even if it is small at this point in time. When I share it's not out of desperation to "get" individuals to be a part of this ministry. It's to share the excitement and joy that is happening and ready to take place in the ministry. That joy is contagious.
*from Wordnet as found on www.dictionary.com
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