Thursday, January 04, 2007

I'm Spent

There is this old Noel Paul Stockey worship tune from the late 70's - my time in youth group that easily sums up todays spiritual exercise

Hand it over to the Father
Hand it over to the Son
Hand it over to the Spirit
Till the work is done...

I guess that is today's exercise in spirituality - don't hang on to stuff, turn it over till the work is done. Oh, and by the way the work is never done on this spiritual plane. Last night I turned in my resignation to our Leadership after having done so earlier in the morning to my Executive Pastor. Today I shared with the staff - not an easy thing to do. I don't think many were surprised. Since then I've been spacing out phone calls to key ministry individuals letting them know because they will be receiving an email informing them about my decision and another one from the Sr. Pastor inviting them to a "summit meeting" to discuss the transition period.

I'm spent. While I'm a fairly strong person emotionally the one area that I struggle with (and who doesn't) is acceptance. In spite of what I know to have been some wonderful seeds planted, I fear that all which would be shared during that meeting would be a complete listing of all my failings and shortcomings. There might be some of that - not everyone will always be in agreement and when someone leaves the first thing to happen is to focus on what you didn't like to keep yourself from feeling pain and loss.

The upswing is that this evening I get an opportunity to see Newberg Christian School's "Christmas Program." No, they are not keeping to the early church concept of Epiphany, the evening they were to perform Oregon was hit with a record breaking windstorm - 100+ mph winds and rain which caused havoc, destruction and unfortunate a few lives lost throughout the State. Most schools and cities cancelled their Christmas programs and other events so we are having the rescheduled version performed for us tonight. If that is not an example of redemption - what is?

So, keep me in your prayers this weekend. I'll be sharing the news of my departure this weekend with the kids (preschool excepting...they'll be the week before my departure). My last Sunday is the 21st and I am assuming that also means that I will have to have my office cleaned out at that time as well. I know God is in the process but personally, this is the point in the adventure that life just sucks.

No comments: