Is a closed door always a sign?

It's Monday, the start of another week. March is almost ending and I am grateful for that. It's been a rough month - a month that seemed to hold promise on some ends only which didn't pan out. Reflecting on these experiences has been interesting for me. There is a sense of attempting to acknowledge that providence seemed to determine that these were "closed doors" and communicated that to me very clearly.

Yet there is this question that has once again raised its head in my theological framework. Is a closed door always a sign? There are times in the past when there have been pastors or speakers who have communicated that when something doesn't work or pan out in the way that you or others expected it to; that it could be acknowledged that in the God's plan this was a way of your answer to prayer being a no or a closed door at this point. I've heard many of my friends mumble under their breaths about whether or not there was one "one" for them - and what happens if that "one" joins up with an individual not intended for them? Then there are the plethora of stories that arose out of the ashes of 9/11 which shared how individuals missed trains, subways or decided at the last moment not to take flights only to find themselves spared from the horrific events of that day. In my world it is interesting to note that a former work associate and his family had wound up staying a day later back East only to find them booked on one of the flights that crashed into the World Trade Towers.

At times it's hard for me to digest the concept of providence and sovereignty in our lives and the fact that there is much more to this Universe that we are not privy of in spite of our delusions of grandeur. The work associate who died on 9/11 - can we really say that it was designed of God for that individuals life to end on that day? And what about their 2 1/2 year old son who was killed as well?

There are times that I think in life we have to be comfortable with saying "I don't know" to questions such as these. I don't know why things turn out the way they do at times. Personally, I don't know all the lessons that I am to gain both now and in the future from this experience in Oregon, nor do I fully comprehend why some opportunities and connections don't happen the way I hope for them to end. And at the same time I am grateful to recognize that those "closed doors" that I have prayed for did happen and new openings have begun which might lead to a better venue - and actually one more closely aligned with my skillset and passion.

So to answer the question I posed, perhaps closed doors are a sign of the "not yet" factor playing out in our lives. Not the right time, not the right venue, not having learned the right lessons yet to walk through that experience in a healthy way. After all, not yet is neither negative or positive, it just is. And living in the present not knowing exactly what is to come next is one of the more challenging lessons in life that we learn. For me, I sense that is what God is teaching me right now. To be content in the grey, the not yets while knowing that in these moments growth is taking place.