"You Can Come to My Birthday Party"

Building Bridges was an incredible experience. I have never seen a group of people (both volunteer staff and our teams) work so well together and so hard. We sent out over 150 individuals throughout the San Ramon Valley to do everything from clearing trails, painting ball walls and cleaning yards to staying behind and packing care packages for troops in Iraq/Afghanistan and making lunches/cooking dinner here at church. This is a HUGE deal I discovered throughout the day. The logistics were amazing. The planning goes beyond what I was seeing/listening as we met throughout the summer and into the Fall. It really is true that you have to witness something sometimes to get a good perspective on what it really takes to pull off an event such as this successfully. There were some great moments out of the weekend. Our children had their own program at church while their parents were out serving. Our project was drawing/designing Christmas cards for the troops. And they were precious. We narrated the cards with what the children wanted to say to them. Before we had them get working on the cards we took them to the staging area where the boxes were packed, had them see some pictures of soldier whose mom's are part of the Blue Star Moms and showed them where their cards were going. It really helped I think for them to see what they were doing. Too often kids (and adults) do things in a vacuum never really understanding where their contribution fits into the entire picture. The comments/thoughts of the kids were precious. The Blue Star Moms were sharing that one of the ones that touched their hears was "You can come to my birthday party." Talk about pulling on heart strings. To a child celebrating is a part of life - and what a better wish to send to an individual in the line of fire than a prayer that they could come and celebrate life with them back stateside. It is beyond words.

We ended the weekend Sunday with a celebration service at church. The middle of the church was given tables for people to sit around and chairs were still available for those not at tables. A member of our community is currently in hospital and a giant hot pink card was passed from person to person being signed for them. There were such demonstrations of love from each of these people. You can tell how much this person-who is such a dynamic part of the community-is truly missed and cared for.

I have to say from a personal perspective, that I really think we need to consider as individuals who plan what a worship experience looks like - ways to encourage community and relationship building within church services. So much of what we do on Sunday mornings is relegated to an individualistic experience. It takes a great amount of intentionality to incorporate people communicating and talking with each other, hearing about their spiritual journeys into a worship service. What a gift we would be giving each of us if we could be vulnerable and open to both the Spirit and each other in the context of a worship experience? Coffee Hour after service just isn't the same. I saw something happen when the tables were set down. When people shared their experiences. When children and families and small groups were sitting around those tables in prayer and worship together. It was an entirely different atmosphere that rose up and took over. It was celebration, which is what we are exhorted to do throughout the pages of Scripture. What an invitation that could be - to invite people whose lives are really unknown to all but the Creator to celebrate, just as one of our children invited a soldier to their celebration. What kind of an impact could that have in the life of a church?

What Do We Do With The Kids?

I strongly believe that community-especially a community of faith needs to incorporate all members. I don't think that many individuals or bodies would argue with that statement. But where we do wind up having differences in opinions, structuring worship opportunities and whatnot is when we delve into the question of how do we incorporate children into worship?

It seems that there have been in the past two or three distinctly different schools of thought with regards to this question.

Group One Provides children with their own Sunday School time which runs concurrently with a worship service. Children are not a part of the larger community. A distinction is made between "adult" and "children's" worship.

Group Two Has children involved and a part of the entire service. Coloring pages, books might be provided in the back, "cry rooms" are available for younger children who need to move about or parents with infants/toddlers. Children are brought along with parents during pivotal moments in the service such as Eucharist/Lord's Supper, prayer etc. Spiritual formation for children occurs at another time outside of the main service.

Group Three Is a hybrid of the first two groups. Children are involved in either the front or back end of the service. Spiritual formation happens for a smaller amount of time than in a traditional Sunday School experience.

I have always had a belief that emphasized the inclusion of children in worship, which I am certain had roots in my body being in a pew each Sunday as a child. As I went to a Christian School, my Sunday School happened Monday - Friday not on the weekends like my friends who went to CCD on Saturdays. I remember being awed by the "largeness" of what I saw and yet really had no clue as to what was happening or its relevance.

When I began to attend a church that I interned at, I was suddenly brought face to face with my hypocrisy regarding this great "idea" that kids should be in worship. At this particular church, children went to Children's Chapel (think Kid's Church) for the first half of the service (through the sermon) and then returned to the main Sanctuary for Eucharist and closing liturgy. "Great!" I thought.

That excitement lasted oh about .03 seconds. The kids came in with a thunderous noise. One set of twins were climbing the pews, running their toy cars along the top of the old wooden seats. Another child was providing a running commentary, others were voicing their displeasure at having to be in church and not on the playground. Meanwhile I was attempting to having a meditative moment with the Creator and these rug rats were interfering in my...

One day children were brought to Jesus in the hope that he would lay hands on them and pray over them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus intervened: "Let the children alone, don't prevent them from coming to me. God's kingdom is made up of people like these."

So what do we do with the kids? It is important for our children to know and experience worship within the larger community for a number of reasons, one of the most tangible being the reinforcement that they are a part of a people of faith. And it is true that unless your congregation specifically designs a regular worship service that incorporates family friendly aspects into it there will be a struggle for children's focus and attention. If we are not providing or expecting parents to return during the week for their children's religious education, when do we provide it if the kids are in service? Especially when statistics show that many families do not stay or participate in a Sunday School hour and then worship.

Here's a thought I'd like to throw out. Perhaps we're looking at the question backwards. We might be dealing with the question of how we include children in worship when what we might need to be considering is a redefinition of what worship is - within the context of community and specifically within the context of teaching our children to be worshippers.

I've recently handed over a copy of Teaching Children Authentic Worship to an individual in our church who shared with me their passion to teach our children how to worship. While this conversation in the larger context had to do with the possibility of resurrecting a children's choir which we haven't had in many years, it was the perfect opportunity to share some ideas on how we can go about fostering a spirit of worship in our children which includes opportunities such as a choir, Communion Sunday WoW Experiences and time in service weekly.

I'm going to be rereading the book over the next few weeks and will attempt to turn out key chapter points, posting them here before the end of August. Until then - I'm looking forward to hearing/reading your thoughts regarding this question.